“A named man of Chambeshi location in Kasama is reported to have had elicited sex with a chicken which later died the same day over the weekend. Both police and hospital sources confirmed the incident to ZANIS and described the act as a criminal offence. The incident happened on Sunday morning. An eye witness explained that she saw a chicken convulsing outside the house and called the owner of the house to come and see the strange behaviour in the chicken. She said when the owner came she took the chicken and held it in her hands. She said whilst holding the chicken, she saw some strange fluid coming out of the chickens’ mouth in the presence of the neighbours who advised her to take the chicken for medical examinations. The medical examinations which were conducted on the chicken revealed that the fluid was human semen and advised them not to eat it. The chicken was later referred to a veterinary doctor who was not in office to carryout further investigations as it was on a Sunday. The chicken later died on the way. And in an exclusive interview with ZANIS, the owner of the chicken declined to disclose the suspect but confirmed that the incident, saying this was the second time it has happened. She said the suspect was within the house. Meanwhile police sources said they will launch investigations until the culprit is brought to book and warned that those who will be found wanting will be punished by the law.” — Lusaka Times (Zambia)

Kasama is a city of 200,000 in the northern part of Zambia. It must be a place where strange and magical things happen. Why? Because it’s not unheard of for people who live in rural areas to have sex with a chicken. But something a little different happened out in the Zambian hinterlands. This chicken — it bears repeating — had “some strange fluid coming out of [its] mouth…” Human semen.

How did that happen? Did the bestialist sodomize the bird so viciously that somehow the semen shot through its body from its rectum to its throat? Did he want to give the chicken a facial? (Boy, there’s no pleasure quite like ejaculating onto the comb of a chicken.) Did he fuck it in the beak? (Would a guy who wants oral from a chicken simply force himself on it? Or would he put some feed on his dick and kick back till the bird comes a-pecking? In either case, if this act of bestiality consisted of a “beak job,” it would be easy to identify the perpetrator. He’s the guy with the small, lacerated penis.)

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