“An extraordinary account from a German army medic has finally confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball. War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down. The priest’s document has now come to light — 23 years after Johan’s death. The war tyrant’s medical condition has been mocked for years in a British song. The lyrics are: ‘Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall. His mother, the dirty b****r, cut it off when he was small.’ Until now there has never been complete proof Hitler was monorchic — the medical term for having one testicle. But the document tells how Johan saw the proof with his own eyes. In the account, he relives the horror of serving as an army medic in World War I. He died aged 94 in 1985, but had told his secret to priest Franciszek Pawlar, who kept a note of their conversation. Johan’s friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed the priest’s account of how the medic saved Hitler’s life. He said: ‘In 1916 they had their hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme. For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler. They called him the ‘Screamer’. He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming ‘help, help’. His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: ‘Will I be able to have children?’.’ Blassius said that when the Nazis swept to power Johan began to suffer nightmares and blame himself for saving Hitler. Hitler’s genitals have long caused controversy. Some historians dismissed the ‘one ball’ song as propaganda. But an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler backed it up. Records show Hitler did suffer a groin injury in the Somme.” — The Sun (UK)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

There is an old song that begins “Hitler has only got one ball” and asserts that “the other is on the kitchen wall.” Evidently the first line was true. The other ball, though, was probably left somewhere in the dirt during the Battle of the Somme. This information is neither new nor particularly relevant. It only serves to continue freakifying a guy whose freak profile really doesn’t need to be raised any further.

Nowadays we may have celebrity sex tapes, but the sex lives of historical figures have always been of great interest. People have been speculating about Hitler’s sexuality since he became a public figure. By all accounts, the Führer was perv. The women in his life had a tendency to try killing themselves after being involved with him. Many have argued — and several entire books have been dedicated to arguing — that Hitler was secretly homosexual. If the Nazis arrested homosexuals, the argument goes, it was because the Nazis were trying to find and suppress compromising information about their own homosexuality.

Even more to the point, Hitler and his one ball were apparently into scat. A 1943 Office of Strategic Services report labeled him an “impotent coprophile”:

Some [of Hitler's associates] believe that he is a chronic masturbator. Some believe that he derives his sexual pleasure through voyeurism. Many believe that he is completely impotent. Others, and these are perhaps in the majority, that he is homosexual. It is probably true that he is impotent but he is certainiy not homosexual in the ordinary sense of the term. His perversion has quite a different nature which few have guessed. He is an extreme masochist who derives sexual pleasure from having a woman squat over him while she urinates or defecates on his face.

It is not difficult to begin making links between Hitler’s mutilated testes, his coprophilia, and his anti-semitism, as many psychologists have done. Hopefully, though, these links say less about Hitler than about the desire of psychologists to group hatred and perversion in a single category of negativity. After all, not every coprophile is a bigot. And given that most perversions are now less perverse than they were a generation ago, many people would doubtless find a golden shower less disgusting than anti-semitism. On YouTube there are countless reaction videos showing people watching 2 Girls, 1 Cup. But there aren’t any videos showing those simultaneously fascinated-but-appalled reactions to ethnic cleansing.

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