Man Shoots Himself In Arm After Being Denied Sex
“Authorities say a Fort Myers man shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him. The Lee County Sheriff’s Office reported that a 29-year-old man and his girlfriend returned home from a bar early Wednesday morning. The girlfriend told deputies that her boyfriend wanted to get intimate, but she just wanted to go to sleep. When she refused, he became irate. Authorities said the girlfriend went to a spare bedroom, and several minutes later she heard two gunshots. She told deputies her boyfriend came into her room and threatened her. He then stumbled into the kitchen before falling into the oven, knocking himself unconscious. The man was treated for two gunshot wounds to the arm and was taken to jail. The man was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.” — Associated Press (US)
(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)
News reports don’t mention which arm the man blasted with his gun. Hopefully it wasn’t his short arm. (Incidentally, “short arm” is a slang term that was known even to Shakespeare. The fascinating Dictionary of Shakespeare’s Sexual Puns and Their Significance actually lists two instances where the double entendre appears in the Bard. Fittingly, he speaks of “short-armed ignorance” — a state all too common among men, for whom “think with dick” is doubtless an oxymoron).
In taking out his sexual frustration on himself, this Florida man must have experienced more than his fair share of short-armed ignorance. Then again, there is a slim possibility that this self-mutilating gesture was a highly moral act. Perhaps he found himself stalking toward that spare bedroom with gun in hand, and in a flash of lucidity realized it was better to shoot himself than his girlfriend. He might have realized that to shoot her would be to spend life in jail. He might have thought that to shoot himself would impress her — probably it’s a sort of romantic madness to think that injuring yourself will win you your beloved, but plenty of people do it. Or as Shakespeare says in another context, “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
Sorry; I think the ‘Returning from a bar early in the morning’ and the snigger inducing; ” He then stumbled into the kitchen before falling into the oven, knocking himself unconscious. ” just about sums this one up for us;
Pissed as a hand cart and everything else just sort of follows through!
What cracks me up is that the poor din’ managed to shoot himself Twice! Why? Wasn’t the first shot good enough?!
Drink and women? Well ….. Drink and guns? No Way! Drink, women And guns? LOL! Just look what happens! :D
florida *always* puts something on the map ! :)
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