“Boulder police are investigating a possible connection between two Saturday reports of women being groped by unknown men on the street, said police spokeswoman Sarah Huntley. The first incident occurred about 3 a.m. when a 24-year-old woman and her friend were walking home near north Broadway and Mapleton Avenue. The woman said that as they neared a man who was sitting on a stone wall, he reached out and grabbed her in a private area, Huntley said. The woman pushed him off, and then he dropped his pants and began to masturbate, the woman told police. She called police, but when officers arrived, the suspect was gone. Later Saturday, about 9:47 p.m., another woman told police that she was groped by a man who was passing on a bicycle as she was walking home, Huntley said. The 20-year-old woman immediately called police and asked that they meet her at her house. Because they arrived before she did, Huntley said, officers began circling the area and noticed a man matching the suspect’s description. When the woman arrived, she identified him as the man who had groped her. Esteban Cruz, 23, of Boulder, was arrested on suspicion of sexual contact in connection with the second incident. ‘Investigators are looking at whether he’s connected with the first case,’ Huntley said.” — Daily Camera (US)

Over the course of a typical year, PervScan features so many tales of outrageous behavior that it’s natural to start feeling jaded. Sometimes you can practically hear a collective yawn out there… “A peeping Tom? A man who masturbates in a mall parking lot? Ho hum. These child molestors get so tiresome after a while. Isn’t there anyone who did something new this week? Perhaps a soldier sodomizing himself with a rocket launcher, hm?”

It’s an obvious problem. Once you get used to reading about necrophiles, it’s hard to think that flashers are especially deviant. We laugh now to think that, a generation or two ago, oral sex was a considered a perversion. Of course, this also makes you wonder whether your grandchildren won’t find the behaviors described on PervScan old-fashioned or quaint. Maybe they’ll be accustomed to such extreme depravity that bestiality, to them, will barely register on the old shockometer…

Which is why it’s good sometimes to step back from the stream of illicit behavior. Get some perspective. Get back to the basics. Hey, remember exhibitionism? It’s illegal. Voyeurism? Yup, believe it or not, that’s a perversion. The Merck Manual has it on the official list of paraphilias. Groping? There are countries where it merits nothing more than a slap or a “fuck off, you creepy old jerk.” But here in America? You can get arrested for it. That’s right. It might seem like old hat to you pervy roués, but to the police it remains a crime.

Of course, you may well find this information invigorating rather than discouraging. “Groping! A crime! Well, shiver my timbers! I’d forgot. It may not be new but at least it’s deliciously criminal…”

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