“A Fort Wayne man was arrested Monday for felony Public Indecency after police saw him standing naked in the window of his home.  Around 10:30 p.m. Monday evening, a Fort Wayne officer … noticed a naked man standing in front of a large picture window of his home with his genital region clearly visible to those on the street.  According to the officer, the blinds were not pulled shut and the front door was wide open, giving a clear view inside the home.  Together, with another responding officer, the two walked up to the home and found the naked man, then on the couch, conducting a lewd act with a claw hammer, plastic bag and motor oil. The man, Ronald Miller, did not acknowledge the officer’s presence until they addressed him and still did not say anything.  Officers arrested Miller for felony Public Indecency, at which time Miller asked the officer for another chance.  Officers declined and took Miller in double-locked handcuffs to the Allen County Lock-up instead.  Mr. Miller had a previous conviction for an unrelated public nudity incident.  A neighbor watching the scene, who wished to remain confidential, told police she had seen Miller walk around naked in his home with the front window and door open on several occasions.  She said, ‘He does it 24/24.  He’s not right.’” — Wane.com (US)

(Thanks to “Chris Finch” for the link.)

Here is a picture of Mr. Miller. When you look at his face, the neighbor’s comment that “he’s not right” echoes in your head. He looks a little off, and also a little sad.

Here is the juicy part of the police report, as posted on the Smoking Gun:

The male white, later identified as Ronald H. Miller, was lying on his sofa inserting an item, later identified as a claw hammer covered with a plastic bag, into his rectum while completely naked. We observed he had some type of lubricant on his genital area and buttocks which we later learned was motor oil.

Officers entered the home and observed Miller didn’t acknowledge our presence until we addressed him. He removed the hammer from his anus and sat upright but didn’t say anything. When I told him he was under arrest for public indecency, he asked me for another chance, that I give him a break.

Presuming that he had the handle and not the claw of the hammer up his ass, it’s not so weird. He must have wrapped it in a plastic bag so that he wouldn’t get splinters in his rectum, and also so that he wouldn’t have to smell his own ass when doing repair jobs around the house. On the other hand, using motor oil as a lubricant is kind of whacked. It is smelly and hard to wash off. You wonder whether this was part of some intricate fetish — sex with things you can find in a garage — or whether these just happened to be at hand when he felt the need to sodomize himself. “No KY? No baby oil? No lotion? Damn… Well, there’s that Valvoline in the garage…”

On the internet there is a forum or group dedicated to nearly every weird fetish. However, no amount of searching turned up one where guys who jerk off with claw hammers and motor oil can share their experiences. Doubtless that is why Mr. Miller pleasured himself with blinds up and door open. He must have been very lonely, and by exhibiting himself he may have hoped to attract like-minded individuals or to educate others in the joys of masturbating like a deranged auto mechanic.

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