“A convicted sex offender faces charges after he allegedly hid inside public restrooms as part of an attempt to obtain and drink boys’ urine. According to police, Alan Patton was dicovered trying to collect urine inside a men’s restroom at Sports Ohio… Patton, 56, had shut off water to the urinals and placed cups inside them. Police subsequently charged Patton with criminal mischief, Ludlow reported. At the time of his arrest, Patton told officers that ‘he wasn’t hurting anyone and that he suffers from an illness,’ according to a police report. Patton, who is a registered sex offender, was first arrested in 1994 on charges of voyeurism, Ludlow reported. After another arrest in 2006, he told Gahanna police that he suffered from urophilia — a sexual fetish involving urine. He also told police that drinking boys’ urine made him feel like he was ‘drinking their youth,’ Ludlow reported. He also told police that he had collected as many as 15 ’samples’ in one night… 10 Investigates asked Glaeden if she thought Patton was a danger to the public. ‘I don’t think his method of operation, at least that I’m aware of, is that he actually touches the children,’ Glaeden said. ‘But if he can’t get what he wants and what he thinks he needs, I don’t know how far he’ll go to get that bodily fluid…’ [Patton] will not be sentenced to prison because it is not against the law to drink someone’s urine without their permission, Ludlow reported. Glaeden said she would support a law that would make it a felony to do so.” — 10tv.com (US)

Here is Mr. Patton’s picture again — “again” because he was already featured on PervScan for his 2006 arrest. Frankly it is not surprising to see Mr. Patton in trouble a second time. He has been indulging his fetish for almost 50 years already. Technically it’s not illegal. And so far as fetishes go, it’s pretty simple to act on. If you’re a necrophile, it’s not so easy to scare up dead bodies. But if you’re a urophile, it’s relatively easy to slip into a public restroom and collect some of that golden fluid.

Undoubtedly some lawmakers whose time could be spent on more meaningful projects will sponsor a bill making it illegal to drink somebody’s urine without first obtaining consent. For a lawmaker, that’s a win-win bill. None of your peers will oppose it — what legislator will stand up to defend the right to forage for piss? — and, once the law is passed, you can brag to your constituents about how you’re being tough on sex offenders. But let’s think about this for a second. By his own admission, Mr Patton has been slurping urine from public toilets since Lyndon B. Johnson was president. He has never been accused of physically accosting someone. If he presents a danger to anyone, it may only be to himself. There is something sad about the thought of this guy stuck in the grips of a childhood compulsion, but he’s right when he says that he’s not hurting anybody.

If you’re a devil’s advocate, you can’t help but think that the law should leave the guy alone. He’s drinking waste products. Ok, so what? If he were to harm someone, the law would be fully justified in dealing with him. But is there any harm in drinking the waste that others have left behind? There are plenty of dumpster divers who find value in the garbage that strangers throw away. Is a guy who drinks urine any different?

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