“A loner who had almost 48,000 images of child pornography on his computer has a fetish for dressing as a female baby. Chief Judge Michael Rozenes said Gregg Lindsay Rowbury’s sexual fantasies centred on him being a girl in nappies. Rowbury, 48, had wanted to be a girl even before puberty and often dressed in his sister’s clothes, the court heard. Judge Rozenes said police who raided Rowbury’s Murrumbeena home discovered nappies and fairy dresses in his bedroom. As well as having images of girls as young as five performing sex acts, Rowbury had pictures of babies and toddlers wearing just nappies. Rowbury had 13 DVDs of child pornography, 47,928 images of child pornography on computer hardware devices and 27 printed A4 colour photos. Judge Rozenes said Rowbury accessed the material to satisfy a fetish that had governed much of his life. Some of the images were particularly disgusting and degrading and could be viewed as being at the most serious end of the scale, he said… Police went to Rowbury’s house after Interpol tipped off the Australian Federal Police online child sex exploitation team in August 2006. A policewoman immediately suspected Rowbury was suffering a mental illness as there was mould, wet clothing, decomposing food and an overwhelming stench throughout the house. Psychologist Pamela Matthews gave evidence that Rowbury used the photographs he collected to build his own mental imagery of himself as the person in the pictures. It was the mental image of himself that was arousing, not the children in the pictures, she said. She diagnosed him as having autogynephilia, where a person derives sexual arousal from the thought of themselves as a woman.” — News.com.au (Australia)

You know how sometimes you wish you could be a fly on the wall to see and hear what people say in private? Well, you can only imagine what a fly must have observed in Mr. Rowbury’s house — moldy food, a stench so thick you could choke on it, and a middle-aged man swathing himself in a diaper to beat off to child pornography. Some things you can’t make up.

At least Mr. Rowbury’s freakish life has the virtue of illustrating a vocabulary word of the day: autogynephilia, the recently coined term used to describe a man “sexually aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman.” On second thought, the term may not be quite appropriate, since this man was less interested in women than in little girls and infants. Perhaps his affliction should be called autopedophilia. Purportedly he wasn’t using the kiddy porn so he could jerk off to little girls but so that he could project himself into the pictures and then jerk off over his transformation into a girl child.

It’s a subtle distinction. Evidently his masturbatory fantasies must have been something along the lines of Kafka’s Metamorphosis, except that rather than become a bug the guy would become a child. Imagine not being able to get off unless you do your best to become somebody else, somebody you aren’t, or somebody you think you are but really you aren’t… It’s a little sad, especially since the writers of headlines always have the last laugh, pushing you back into yourself, summing you up in a line. “Porn Loner Had Nappy Dress-Up Fetish” — what an epitaph.

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