A 40-year-old Central Florida woman is accused of sexually abusing a 16-year-old girl with yellow chili peppers. Investigators said the woman, who works at the Carnagie Gardens Nursing Home Center in Melbourne, beat the victim with an iron and iron cord after she arrived home. She said she was also sexually abused with the peppers while she tried to shower. The girl then reported the attack to a teacher the next day and a nurse’s exam confirmed the abuse, police said. Palm Bay detectives said the woman has denied committing the sex assault. Management at the nursing home suspended the woman without pay, pending the results of a criminal investigation. — Local6 (US)

(Thanks to Peter for the link. At Local6 there is also a video with the obligatory footage of yellow chili peppers.)

If you are a connoisseur of depravity, these sorts of stories can be very frustrating. There is little additional information to be had. The video mentions mundane details (the perp was a “model employee”) but nothing juicy. There are no other news articles about the incident. Maybe the absence of information makes sense on one level — in these troubled times, why should a pepper rape be worthy of reportage? Really, who needs to know about this aside from the people involved?

All the same, once you get that image in your head — woman abuses teen with yellow chili pepper — you’re stuck with that and little else. It’s not even clear what relationship the two had. The woman can’t have been the girl’s mother. Was she an evil step-mother? A foster parent? And what prompted this specific action? It’s one thing to flip out and beat a teenager with whatever appliance happens to be handy — in this case, an iron. It’s another thing to go to the refrigerator, get a nice hot pepper, follow the kid into the bathroom, pin her against the wall of a shower, and ram it up the poor thing’s cunt. (No one says that’s what happened but what else could it be?)

The specificity of the act suggests that, in the perp’s mind, the teen deserved it. Maybe she’d been sleeping around. Maybe she did something crazy like sleep with the perp’s boyfriend. You could imagine a woman doing this for revenge faster than you could imagine a parent doing it for a punitive reason.

The next morning a school nurse was able to see evidence of the assault. Was this simply a ruptured hymen? Or were the peppers so hot that they left some sort of burn? Yellow peppers are generally rated about medium on the heat index. The girl can at least be grateful she wasn’t assaulted with a habanero, which is the hottest pepper known to mankind. You hear stories about people needing to go to the hospital for rubbing an eye with a fingertip that has residue from a habanero on it. You sure wouldn’t want a habanero anywhere near your crotch.

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