“Parents who teach ‘tough love’ by disciplining their children with spankings could be making them more likely to have sexual problems as teenagers and adults, a leading researcher said. Professor Murray Straus, of the University of New Hampshire, found that children who are spanked or experience other corporal punishment have a raised risk as teenagers and adults to verbally or physically coerce a partner into having sex. ‘It’s more evidence that parents should not spank if the wellbeing of their children is at stake,’ he said in an interview. Straus analyzed the results of the International Dating Violence Study, a survey of more than 14,000 university students at 68 universities in 32 countries. The students were asked if they had been spanked or hit frequently before age 12 and if they had coerced a sexual partner in the previous 12 months. Men who had experienced corporal punishment were four times more likely to physically coerce a partner into having sex, than those who had not experienced a lot of corporal punishment. Physical coercion includes holding someone down or hitting them. Women who had experienced corporal punishment were also more likely to coerce sex from a partner than those who had not been spanked. ‘People generalize that the use of coercion, physical coercion, is okay. They learn that from people they love and respect — their parents,’ said Straus, who presented the findings at a summit of the American Psychological Association.” — Yahoo (US)

You might think that there are some obvious objections to the research that went into this study. For example, how do you define whether or not you were spanked “frequently?” Does once a month count? More? Less? “Coercion” can be a slippery term too. However, the questionnaire used by the survey is actually pretty specific. It asks respondents to give yes or no answers to statements such as “I slapped my partner,” “I made my partner have sex without a condom,” “I used a knife or gun on my partner.” No doubt about it: using a knife or gun is coercive. Unless the victim wants to be knifed or shot, in which case it’s not coercive but sort of insane.

It makes perfect sense that frequently spanked children might turn to coercion later in life. They learn at a young age that mild forms of violence are acceptable modes of social interaction. Why wouldn’t they carry that lesson into their sexual maturity? The real thorny question is how you translate the results of this study into parenting. Dr. Straus recommends “alternative ways” to discipline children, but you have to wonder if those are always practical. What’s more, the research may show that spanked kids are more likely to coerce — but does that mean that kids who aren’t spanked are more likely to be victims of coercion? If so, it leaves you pondering a really difficult question. Naturally you don’t want your kid to grow up to be a rapist. But you don’t want him to grow up to be a victim either. If you can decrease the odds that he’ll be a victim by increasing the odds that he’ll be a perpetrator, would you do it?

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