Man Moans Because Inflatable Doll Doesn’t
“Romanian consumer protection officials have upheld a complaint from a man who said his inflatable doll had lost its moan. A sex shop in Brasov, Transylvania, was fined £600 (about R8 700) and ordered to provide the man, said to be in his 40s, with a new doll. According to local media the man had also complained that the rubber doll deflated too quickly. Iulian Mara, head of the local Consumer Protection Office, said: ‘No matter how strange it sounded to us, we went to the sex-shop from where the man bought the object of complaint and found out he was justified. ‘The doll was losing air very quickly and due to a faulty electrical circuit it didn’t make the expected specific sounds.’” — Independent Online (South Africa)
It took some searching, but PervScan finally found one of the original reports about the broken love doll in a Romanian newspaper. (Disclaimer: PervScan doesn’t read a word of Romanian and online translation tools didn’t do much to render this article intelligible in English. It may be the wrong story — but the picture of the deflated love doll suggests not.) Evidently the Emanuelle Sex Shop in Brasov is the town’s best known adult attraction. You can actually find other pictures of it online. However scenic its location, though, its business practices apparently leave something to be desired.
It is curious that this story should have been reproduced in at least half a dozen newspapers worldwide. It’s a simple matter of a consumer complaint. If the guy had bought a defective toaster, no newspaper would write it up. Why does the mere presence of a sex doll cause this to be international news? Clearly it’s because there is a taboo on admitting that you use one or that you masturbate at all. Bringing a lawsuit over a sex doll is like climbing a tower with a megaphone and shouting, “Hey, I jerk off!” Even nowadays, when porn is ubiquitous and sex toys common, people just don’t broadcast their self-love this way. And yet, if you sent letters to fifty different major newspapers declaring that you’re a compulsive masturbator, would any editor find it newsworthy? Probably not.
Maybe it’s the hint of slapstick in the whole episode that makes it newsworthy. You imagine the guy raring to go. But when he mounts the doll, it deflates beneath him. He frantically blows it up again, lies on top of it, and the air leaks out underneath him. He tries again, blows it up, tries not to put his weight on it, but still the air wheezes out — and to top matters off, its prerecorded moan doesn’t even work. Frustrated, the guy crams his boner back into his jeans and races off to the sex shop for a refund. The owner, however, seeing a used love doll, isn’t about to take the seminally contaminated thing back. A big fight ensues with them shouting at each other, “I’ll see you in court!”
It could make a funny skit with pratfalls and blue balls. Does that make it newsworthy? Probably not. But against the backdrop of so much other dismal reportage, it’s practically a feel-good story.
I could fuck an artificial woman all day, but it would have to look and act reasonably human, like a gynoid robot or something. Fucking one of those blow up dolls would be like fucking a corpse, which doesn’t really do it for me. The thing would have to be able to move and moan and tell me what a great lay I am, then go get me a drink afterword and engage in some cute pillow talk. So basically, sex dolls creep me out a little, as do the guys that actually use them.
Personally, I’m wondering how much he Paid for the damn thing! Like, if I’d Paid £600 ? Well ….. Naaah, fuck it! I’d have put a brick through their window, maybe. But I can’t imagine for what price I’d take myself off to the local courts and start brandishing such a fact to Anyone!
an’t help but wonder if he’s satisfied with his vengeance. Was getting them done six ton worth it to him? And did he recieve a new and ‘Satisfying’ doll in the end?
So many snigger inducing questions spring from that one! Class! :D
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