Pervert Fears Over Sick Theft
“A probe has been launched after reports that underwear was stolen from elderly residents at a sheltered housing complex… Reports suggest that the garments were taken from the laundry at the facility… Today councillors expressed their fears that a pervert could be responsible for the reported act… As news of the reported incident emerged, SNP councillor for Johnstone South, Elderslie and Howwood, Tracie McGee, was among those who expressed their concerns. She said: ‘I am very concerned about this. There is a danger this incident could turn more sinister if there is a pervert in the area.’ Meanwhile, Labour councillor Iain McMillan, added: ‘It’s quite concerning and it’s quite sick when something like this allegedly happens at the best of times — but to apparently do it to elderly people is just horrible.’” — Paisley Gazette (UK)
Panty thieves are common enough. Often they target young girls, but there is no reason to think that only pedophiles turn to thievery to satisfy their illicit desires. Why not gerontophiles too? No doubt there are pervs out there who, in their insatiable lust for the geriatric, would steal adult diapers from the very asses of Alzheimer’s patients.
However, aside from the theoretical possibility that the “sheltered housing complex” could be stalked by a gerontophiliac panty thief, there is nothing to indicate why authorities think this could really be the case. There are obvious alternative explanations: things get lost in the wash, or eldsters with dementia play strip poker and forget to bring their lost briefs back to their rooms. Do authorities have proof that these explanations are not correct? Is there evidence of perverted activity? Did some deviant leave DNA on the Depends?
I think the reactions of the councillors are something to cherish here.
The idea of bloomer-theft being sinister is lovely (I can imagine the depraved culprit now, sitting in the great hall of his crumbling, 120 journée-esque, gothic castle, wallowing in granny-pants as he plots his next dastardly offense).
“If there is a pervert here” is quite nice too. I’ve never been to Paisley, and for all I know it could be a veritable civitas dei, nevertheless, I’d be willing to bet that it contains several perverts, merely as a matter of statistics.
These archaic institutions are what made Britain great.
and what if a few of the elderly don’t mind….hey maybe it means they’ve still got it… ;)
Bit of a tangental thought here, but; I had a friend in here recently. He was an internet virgin and so, as ye do, I asked him what in the world he’d like a look at. This guy’s around fifty. His instant request was ” Older women. ” Of course, feed that into Google Images and he was suitably impressed. Free ‘Girly Mag’s’ at a click.
Now, I’m fifty myself. But I found these ‘middle aged’ women repulsive! If I want to look at girls, give me just that: Girls! 18 – 23 sort of mark. Something still worth looking at. How the hell can a man come to *Prefer* stretched skin and hystorectomy scars???
And that’s what makes me wonder about our ” Paisley Pervert “. Is he some sixteen year old walking hormone with the hots for Grannies? Or is he some octogenarian resident of that place, out to get himself a slice of close as it gets, at his age?
Weird thing is; If the latter, he’d hardly a “Pervert”. If he went for some nineteen year olds skimpys? Society would brand him a ” Dirty old pervert.” all the more.
I’d wink and give him a surrepticious thumbs up! :D
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