“Everyone wants to have a sexually rewarding relationship, whether he or she is diabetic or suffering from other diseases. You may wonder why the foot is so important in establishing healthy sexual relationships. Simply put, some people have a ‘foot fetish’, that is, they are sexually aroused by the lower limb or anything that covers portions of them. In the equation, if you are diabetic and refuse to take care of your feet, you could easily miss out on attracting a soulmate. Diabetics already in a relationship should be aware that feet not well cared for could be a turn-off for their sexual partner.” — Jamaica Gleaner (Jamaica)

Sometimes perversions are less weird than the things that people say about them. For example, “if you are diabetic and refuse to take care of your feet, you could easily miss out on attracting a soulmate.” Now let’s be clear about this. The statement is not untrue. If you’re a diabetic with ulcerous feet, you probably will not appeal to foot fetishists. But is the statement reasonable? After all, even if you have hideous feet, it’s quite possible a soulmate could find you attractive for half a dozen other reasons. Foot fetishists may (or may not) overlook beautiful eyes or a scintillating sense of humor, but other potential soulmates could still find them attractive.

The whole article — which is actually quite long — seems to overemphasize the plight of diabetics desperately seeking foot-fetish soulmates. Surely this must be a very small group of people. There are also people who suffer from chronic constipation and thus fail to attract coprophiles. There are people simply so — well, alive — that they can’t look for their soulmates among necrophiles. Do these folks merit news stories? It’s as though the Jamaica Gleaner writer has no sense of balance or perspective. The article concludes with the admonition that “You never know where a foot fetishist may be lurking and you would not want to turn him/her off with ugly feet as a result of poor diabetic foot care.” Do you get the message there? Don’t take care of your feet because you want to be healthy. Take care of them because you wouldn’t want to repulse anyone who has an unhealthy interest in feet.

The writer takes her odd little subject so seriously that you half suspect she has some twisted underlying motive for writing it. Maybe she’s a diabetic who has been spurned by a man who’s tall, dark, and foot-loving. Maybe she’s a fetishist herself who has seen one too many cases of diabetic foot. Maybe foot fetishism and diabetes have become rampant in Jamaica, and this writer is the courageous one to sound the alarm about their collision course. Or maybe in this case the story is actually more perverse than the perversion to which it speaks?

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