“Sandy Wong gets turned on by expensive and classic cars, motorcycles and women with big feet and really likes to expose himself in public. Unfortunately, the 45-year-old Edmonton man’s sexual deviancy has led to him ‘pleasuring’ himself while sitting on the roof of cars, including a BMW on display at the Home and Garden Show at the Northlands AgriCom… Wong was observed checking out three BMW vehicles on display at the Home and Garden Show on March 22. Then, he was seen sitting on the roof of a 2007 BMW 328i sedan, valued at $50,000. Shortly after that, Wong had dropped his sweatpants to his ankles and was spotted masturbating while sitting with his legs dangling over the driver’s door window. Security eventually detained Wong until police showed up and a cleanup crew had to wash down the BMW. According to psychiatrist Dr. Curtis Woods, Wong says he is ’sexually attracted’ to the BMW’s rooftop because ‘it’s curved like a woman’s body, the sex appeal, it felt good.’ Woods said Wong reported he also gets aroused by other cars, including a 1967 Camaro and a 1955 Chevy Bel Air, and blames the owners for buying the cars because it tempts him to ‘pleasure’ himself. Court heard Wong was also arrested May 24 for jumping on a 2005 Mini Cooper outside the downtown Boston Pizza, dropping his pants and proceeding to ‘tuck, rub and bounce his naked genitalia’ on the hood of the car. He also admitted climbing onto the roof of a 1991 Buick Century parked at the rear of a south-side home, taking off his clothes and masturbating on June 12.” — CNews (Canada)

It was disappointing to hear that Mr Wong explained his fetish by anthropomorphizing the cars and comparing them to women’s bodies. It makes him sound like a loser who can’t get “real” women and satisfies himself with automobiles instead. To be attracted to a fender because it resembles a hip is not so interesting. It would have been much more fascinating if he’d been attracted to certain women because they resembled automobiles. Give that one to Shakespeare: Shall I compare thee to a ‘67 Camaro? Thou art more lovely…

Then again, perhaps it is wrong to overemphasize the vehicular aspect of Mr Wong’s sexuality. Yes, he likes cars, but he also likes exposing himself and women with big feet. This is a peculiar assemblage of desiderata. Often a perversion requires a conjunction of elements, but the conjunction seems logical or, at the least, familiar. If a perv lusts after the big toes of little girls, it doesn’t seem at all strange that he should combine pedophilia and foot fetishism. But Mr Wong seems to have welded more disparate elements into his psychopathy. A car hood, a large foot, a scandalized public — it’s as though he’s forging a sexuality that is no longer narrow or obsessive but a sort of collage, a constructivist perversity.

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