Giving Thanks for Your Perversion
Sometimes it is probably misguided to even try to be topical. Suppose, for example, that it’s a national holiday, and you unimaginatively decide to figure out some connection between Thanksgiving and perversion. If you google the obvious search terms, you end up with a number of stories about sex and sexuality in Turkey. You might discover, for example, that Turkey currently holds the distinction of being the country whose populace generates the most search queries for “child porn.” If you’re an American looking for a reason to be thankful on this holiday, you can at least be grateful that your homeland doesn’t hold that distinction.
When you manage to eliminate the land of Turkey from your searches, you stumble on more random crap, like a gallery of personal photos that somebody labelled Thanksgiving Fetish. There is the “I hate Thanksgiving” thread on a forum dedicated to sneeze fetishism. (Yes, it’s the home of the “online sneezing fetish community.”) There is the humorous observation by another forum user who, passing by a sex shop and seeing the place decked out for xmas, wondered why there was no “sexy Thanksgiving fetish wear on display” with a banner reading “Wanna stuff MY turkey?” Slightly more seriously, there is research showing that the smell of pumpkin pie increases penile blood flow more than any other scent. If you don’t find yourself feeling sexy until dessert, now you’ll know why.
Thanksgiving has played a modest role in a few stories here at PervScan. There was the “serial foot groper” who attacked twice on a Thanksgiving morning. There was the commenter who described how a child molestor received an invitation to Thanksgiving dinner from his victim’s family. There was PervScan’s own meditation on turkey breasts. But in the final analysis, aren’t all these connections rather forced? Thanksgiving and perversion — that’s like the Comte de Lautréamont’s chance meeting of a sewing machine and an umbrella on a dissecting table.
Perhaps the best thing is just to be thankful for your perversion and the pleasures it affords you. Be thankful for the people who support or at least tolerate it. Be thankful for the common sense that has hopefully caused you to refrain from wantonly hurting others or landing yourself in jail.
Those sneeze fetish people are far more lucid and better-punctuated than the members of most forums, I’m tempted to join just for the conversation.
I’ll just phone in non-sick for the sneeze-related events.
PS. Happy Thanksgiving
And what about those who have a fetish for ending up in jail? I mean, you get 3 meals a day, warmth, a roof over your head, and free anal, all as a reward for acting out your fetish on complete strangers. What a deal!
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