“An assistant U.S. attorney from northern Florida appeared today in federal court in Detroit on charges he flew to metro Detroit to have sex with someone he thought was a 5-year-old girl. John David Roy Atchison, 53, of Gulf Breeze, Fla., was charged with enticement of a minor using the Internet and knowingly traveling interstate to engage in illicit sex. With eyes cast downward and fiddling with papers, Atchison asked for a court attorney before he obtains one on his own. His arrest Sunday was part of an undercover sex crime sting on behalf of the Macomb Area Computer Enforcement Team, also known as M.A.C.E. According to court records, Atchison, who described himself as ‘very much a family man,’ initiated an online chat Aug. 29 with an undercover officer posing as a mother interested in letting men have sex with her children. During continuous conversations, he expressed a desire to engage in oral, vaginal and anal sex with her fictitious daughter, records show. At one point, he wrote: ‘I’m always gentle and loving; not to worry; no damage ever; no rough stuff ever ever.’ He assured the undercover officer that the girl would not need medical attention, saying, ‘I can be absolutely sure; just gotta go slow and very easy is how; I’ve done it plenty.’ Prosecutors say the transcripts could lead to further investigations. Days before catching the flight for his Macomb County destination, records show, he told the woman to tell the girl she ‘found her a sweet boyfriend who will bring her presents.’” — Pensacola News Journal (US)

(Thanks to Peter for the link.)

If you look at his mug shot, you’ll see that Mr Atchison resembles a yuppie version of the satanist Anton LaVey. Perhaps it’s a telling association, since today there is no one more satanic in society’s eyes than the pedophile or the terrorist. Evidently Mr Atchison views himself through the same lens of contempt, since he tried to commit suicide in his cell this week. And why wouldn’t he? He left tracks all over the internet showing evidence of his proclivity for little girls. His Yahoo profile gushes that “I adore everthing about young girls, how they talk, think, act, walk, look.” His MySpace profile declares that he’s an “experienced Daddy.” Experienced? Boy, he must wish he hadn’t mentioned that prior to getting arrested. Further charges could be pending.

It’s a sordid story lightened by the fact that, in this particular instance, there was no actual victim. Of course, its sordidness doesn’t prevent an astute observer from enjoying its absurdities. When sending the link, Peter made several observations:

When I read some of the language used for this story, I started laughing. ‘With eyes cast downward and fiddling with papers, Atchison asked for a court attorney before he obtains one on his own.’ Are you absolutely sure he was fiddling with his ‘papers’? Maybe he was trying to out-judge the judge who used a penis pump in open court! What a guy! ‘He assured the undercover officer that the girl would not need medical attention’: wow, what a caring sharing lovely man! As if fucking a child isn’t bad enough, he pacifies it by telling the mother that her kid won’t need her anus sown up! How compassionate!

Yeah, that’s pretty funny. Imagine if he’d told the truth: “Mom, I’m going to perforate your daughter’s little colon with my magnificent member.” The sick thing is that somewhere out there is a disturbed mother who would probably find that appealing too.

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