“A Monessen man allegedly broke into a funeral parlor and tampered with a female corpse before getting caught in the act, police said. Roderick Jones, who police said was convicted of abuse of a corpse in 1999, is facing new charges stemming from the alleged incident on Sixth Street in Monessen last month. Funeral director Johnny Draper said he left the Draper Funeral Home on July 13 to talk to some friends across the street for about 10 minutes. When Draper noticed a light on in the basement, he went back inside — and that’s when, according to a police affidavit, he found Roderick Jones lying next to the coffin of a woman whom Draper had been preparing for burial. According to the affidavit, one of the deceased woman’s legs was up in the air, her stockings had been removed and the plastic covering her body had been torn open. Draper said Jones was lying down near the casket in an attempt to hide, but Draper said he was able to restrain the man until police arrived. Draper said the funeral home has a top-notch security system in place, and there has never been a break-in before. He also said he believes he made it back into the building before the corpse was abused.” — Pittsburgh Channel (US)

(Thanks to Furpo for the link.)

It is nearing the end of the summer. People are packing the beaches. College kids are returning to their dorm rooms. Moms are buying new clothes for their little ones. And necrophiles are doing what necrophiles do — breaking into funeral parlors, giving a stiff one to the stiffs. It is as though a certain order is returning to the universe. Everything is in its place, or at least moreso than would be the case if necrophiles were packing off to dorm rooms and college kids were dallying with cadavers.

If you care to watch a news video, you can see a picture of Mr. Jones. You don’t look at the guy and think, Graverobber. He’s not a black-clad goth, or at least it doesn’t appear that way from the picture. With those heavy eyelids, he looks a bit sleepy. Maybe he could claim that he was not trying to screw the corpse but to cuddle up with it and take a nap.

Then again, that probably wouldn’t help his case. On the video, the reporter states that the burglary charge facing Mr. Jones will probably bring a more severe penalty than the abuse of corpse charge. Yes, the violation of your cadaver is a less serious crime than the loss of your valuables. That tells you how the law values your body when you’re done with it — and in this case, maybe the law is right. How valuable is a cadaver? It means nothing to you and your loved ones are about to destroy it anyway.

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