“A man’s ‘deviant sexual arousal’ to saliva from young girls was behind a premeditated attack on an 11-year-old… Jared Paul Simmonds, 28, a Blenheim vineyard worker, was jailed today for two years and eight months after earlier pleading guilty to doing an indecent act with the girl in the grounds of a Christchurch school… Simmonds was convicted in 2005 for obtaining spittle from young girls that he planned to use for masturbation — circumstances similar to the offending in February… Simmonds’ ‘deviant sexual arousal to saliva could be regarded as a fetish,’ he said… Simmonds had four convictions where he had asked for or obtained spittle from young girls. The court was told that on Last Waitangi Day this year, Simmonds stopped off in Christchurch on his way back to Blenheim from Invercargill. He’d intended to find a young girl he could get spittle from which he would use to masturbate. Judge Abbott noted Simmonds’ significant premeditation in carrying chewing gum and plastic cups to support his story that he was conducting a survey. Simmonds had promised the 11-year-old money to co-operate with the ’survey’ and told her the saliva would be analysed at Christchurch Polytechnic. He’d met her as she was taking a short-cut through the school grounds. But events turned sinister when he asked the girl if he could be her boyfriend. When she answered in the negative, Simmonds had foot-tripped her, lay on top of her, kissing her around her neck and cheeks, then held his hand over her mouth while he simulated sex with the girl. The school principal, who told a depositions hearing she had observed the ‘unlikely pairing’ when she noticed them in the playground, yelled out when she saw Simmonds on top of the girl. She managed to break free and run home. When police interviewed Simmonds in Blenheim four days later, they found in his bedroom a newspaper clipping reporting the incident.” — New Zealand Herald (New Zealand)

Evidently this guy would go around and offer young girls a small fee to chew gum, work up a spit, and hack it into a cup. On the pretext that he would be profiling it, he would rush home, lube himself, and submit the saliva sample to a hands-on analysis with his penisometer.

Saliva plays such a central role in sexual behavior that it hardly seems appropriate to call this fetish “deviant.” For that matter, it’s hard to see how the guy previously got arrested for doing this. In New Zealand, is it illegal to procure someone’s spit under false pretenses? Most people would be more worried that the guy was doing some strange genetic profile on them. Who cares if he jerks off with it? If that’s all he’s doing, it’s probably worth the five or ten bucks he paid for it. That’s easy money, right?

Of course, the problem here is that a fetish is satisfying in itself — it’s an idée fixe, an obsession, not a stepping stone to some other activity. By that definition, this guy’s “fetish” wasn’t really a fetish but rather a prelude to less cowardly expressions of his pedophilia. The spit-in-a-cup thing was a relatively safe way of exploring his passion for young girls. The next step was to trip this most recent girl and dry-hump her in the schoolyard. And the next step after that? That’s the one for which he was really salivating.

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