Porn Movie Causes Trouble For Two Men
“According to the police report, officers were called to a residence in the 100 block of North Main Street after a man kicked in his neighbor’s door and threatened him with a sword. The caller said the subject lived downstairs with his mother. Police made contact with the neighbor, a 39-year-old man, who told them he heard a woman screaming from upstairs and feared she was being sexually assaulted. The subject said he grabbed the 39-inch sword, went upstairs and kicked in the door to investigate. He repeatedly asked his neighbor ‘Where is she?’ and made him open a closet, and searched the apartment looking for a woman in distress. The victim told his neighbor, and later showed police the evidence, that the noise came from a pornographic movie he was watching. According to the police report, the subject said he got the sword from his father, who had it in the armed forces. There was German writing etched on the blade of the sword. The victim said he was fearful for his safety and was afraid the he would be stabbed during the incident. Police are seeking charges of second-degree reckless endangerment of safety, criminal trespassing, criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct against the 39-year-old Oconomowoc man.” — Oconomowoc Focus (US)
The moral of this story is simple enough: No good deed goes unpunished. Right when you think you’re a sword-wielding ninja saving a damsel in distress, you find out that the damsel is a porn queen, her distress is a video simulation, your sword is a Nazi heirloom, and being a ninja amounts to a ticket to the local jail. Some guys got no luck. Instead of being a hero on the front page, he’s a joke somewhere in the “weird news” section.
However, another article suggests that the “rape” had been going on for several hours before the ninja wannabe grabbed his sword and headed upstairs. That little detail changes the nature of the whole story. What kind of good samaritan waits two hours to rescue a damsel in distress? It sounds more like the guy had a noise complaint. He was probably banging on the ceiling with that sword and flipped out when the porn movie kept droning on and on and on…
That raises additional questions too. Was the upstairs guy actually wanking that whole time? If a guy can last that long, he should be able to attract a girlfriend or two. Was the guy naked when the ninja warrior kicked down his door? Was he able to resume his day-long act of masturbation when the ninja left? Or will he soon be suing his neighbor for blue balls?
He’s damn lucky that the victim did not have access to a weapon and blow his fucking ass off, then he wouldn’t have to worry about those old criminal charges! Sounds to me like this Ninja wannabe is a control freak that wants to rule the neighborhood and take charge of ever situation that arises. Why didn’t he just call the authorities and let them handle it, after all that’s what they get paid to do.
*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha* :)
let us not forget that the would be ninja was living downstairs with his mother….
Maybe mommy told him he should always be shivelrous, coming to a lady’s rescue, even if it meant jumping to conclusions, and breaking and entering, and totally making a fool of himself! That guy sounds warped!
That is just messed up. I sometimes wonder if people are truly sane.
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Jailbait
