A Million Pounds To Give Up Sex
“Three out of 10 British men would abstain from sex for life in return for £1 million, according to a new survey. Others would embrace a lifetime of celibacy if they never had to work again (9%) or if their football team won the treble (3%), the study by Company magazine and condom manufacturer Durex found. A lifetime supply of alcohol would be enough to persuade 1% of men to give up sex, while another 1% would take up abstinence for one final night with their dream celebrity. The survey also produced the surprising revelation that more heterosexual men would choose to sleep with David Beckham than with his wife Victoria. Those interviewed showed a clear preference for women with curves, with 25% naming Angelina Jolie as the celebrity they would most like to have sex with, followed by Kelly Brook on 22%. Only 0.59% chose Victoria Beckham, while 4% said they would go for her famous footballing husband if they had to sleep with a man. The survey also reveals that it is not only women who put on an act in the sack, with one in three men admitting to faking it during sex. Ruth Gresty, Durex’s UK brand manager, said: ‘What has become of the red-blooded male?” — Manchester Evening News (UK)
Abstain from sex for life? For a million pounds (which is about twice that in U.S. dollars)? Or for a lifetime of free liquor? Good lord, that’s insane! A few million dollars is chump change in this day and age. You can’t live the rest of your life on that, unless there’s not much of your life left. It might not even pay the bar tab for the life of an ambitious drinker. Who would give up sex for that measly amount?
It’s hard to figure. Are 30% of British men sexually miserable or abstinent anyway? Did the poll target an unusually large number of old men, for whom the appeals of sex usually wane in favor of the joys of an unobstructed piss? Do scientists need to do a follow-up study on the sexually depressive effects of tea and scones? Did men figure that, within the terms of the experiment, they could forego sex but keep jerking off? Did they figure that, if the opportunity ever arose, they’d take their million quid and then keep fucking around anyway? After all, if the thought experiment were translated into reality, celibacy would be hard to enforce. Just ask the proctor at the dormitory of any school for boys.
On another note, it’s misleading to say that “more heterosexual men would choose to sleep with David Beckham than with his wife Victoria.” The question was not, “Who would you prefer to sleep with: David or Victoria Beckham?” Instead it was two separate questions, one about ranking homosexual action with male celebrities, the other ranking heterosexual action with female celebrities. On the male scale, David Beckham attracted a mere four percent — which isn’t much. On the female scale, Victoria Beckham attracted even fewer — but how could you expect anything else when she has to compete with the likes of Angelina Jolie? No doubt Mr. Beckham would have fared just as poorly as his wife in the poll if respondants had been given the choice to experience man-love with the divine Ms. Jolie.
Ala Bill Clinton….define sex…blah, blah, blah…and “Posh Spice” looks pretty hot to me.
this link is an early contender for best of the year !! :)
I still wouldn’t give up sex forever for 2 mil, but you can hardly call that chump change. You can easily live off it for the rest of your life so long as you don’t go crazy with it. Drop it in a bank account making a measly 5%/year and live comfortable from $100,000 per year in interest. Sure, you’re not out buying mansions and boats and small countries, but ‘chump change’? No way.
The high costs of living in New York no doubt warp PervScan’s perspective.
Bound to happen sooner or later Supervert….Hell, I believe I’d take the money and figgure out something later….Like they can’t get it back if it’s spent.
i want the money, but than i think of all the great sex i’d have to give up.
and well IT’S JUST NOT ENOUGH MONEY DAMB IT.
I did not really think 2 million was chump change, but I thought “whatever!”, as I read the article. One person’s chump change, is another’s bag full of money! I would love to have two million dollars, and yes, I can live with it, even comfortably, particularly if I am not married and with children, for the rest of my life. I just don’t know if I can go the rest of my life without sex again. I would probably feel so honest getting this amount of money, that I would abstain from self-pleasuring as well. Still, if this thing was for real, I wonder how they would enforce the no sex thing? Would there be cameras, or a funny little man peeping through your windows with some kind of badge? Would no masturbation or self-pleasure of any kind be part of the whole deal? Probably.
Huh. All the money that would have to be spent making up for the fact that I gave up sex for all that money…well, it would be spent quickly. Hardy worth it. Wouldn’t matter how it was invested. Wouldn’t even be an issue at all if you gave me the choice of the money or sleeping with Alan Rickman…come to momma, bay-bee! No misery to be found in MY bed!
*SIGH!*
Of course, as I said that two million dollars is no chump change, but I would prefer to get it some other way, maybe doing something really dangerous, or winning the lottery or something that does not involve no sex at all. I am sorry if I was misleading above. It’s no chump change, all right, but without sex or some kind of deep sexual pleasure life would be meaningless and all of the money in the world would not make up for it!
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