“A 65-year-old woman is facing charges of mutilation after she was caught mutilating her dead husband’s penis so she could ‘pickle it as a souvenir of their marriage.’ According to a report by The Sun, the woman was identified as Uta Schneider of Stuttgart, Germany, reportedly used a butcher’s knife to sever the member at a local hospital. Schneider then wrapped the penis in a foil and put it inside her lunch box to take home. A nurse saw what she had done and called the guards to arrest her. Uta was married to 68-year-old Heinrich for 35 years and said she wanted to keep her husband’s best asset. She told the police, ‘It was his best asset and gave me so much pleasure. I wanted to pickle it for eternity. He would have wanted it. We called it his joystick. I wanted it to remember him by.’” — All Headline News (US)

(Thanks to Angela St Lawrence for the link.)

Usually stories of mutilation are not funny. If a despairing hubby did this to his wife — cut a block of flesh out of her dead groin so that he could take home her snatch — women would respond indignantly, men would barf, and hopefully children wouldn’t read about it. But when an old lady wants to pickle her husband’s willy? Why, it’s hilarious! Read just a few of the comments (some with pictures of pickles) over at freerepublic.com: “Uta Schneider Bwahahahahahaha! Schneiden is German for ‘to cut.’” “She just wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to have any sex in the afterlife until she got there.” “My wife was considering this after my demise… but she didn’t know where she’d keep the 50-gallon drum.”

It certainly makes you wonder. If it’s no laughing matter to cut out a twat or hack off a tit, why is it funny to cut off a guy’s penis? (Remember all the John and Lorena Bobbit jokes? “What’s the difference between John Bobbit and a hot dog?? About 6 inches… What did Michael Jackson say to John Bobbit?? Silly Bobbit, dicks are for kids.”) It’s hard to imagine the same jokes being made when the gender roles are reversed. For example, serial killer Ed Gein had a “mammary vest,” a waistcoat he’d made by sewing together some breasts and a vagina. That has black humor potential. (”Hey Ed, is that a tampon or bellybutton lint?”) How come nobody jokes about that?

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