Ugandan Police Arrests Sodomiser, As Crime Increases
“The police in Kampala has arrested a 30-year-old man for sodomy. Kalooke David, an accountant with Kamwokya Christian Community has been arrested for sodomizing 18 year old Mukiibi Michael. It is alleged that in September last year, the two went to drink at Ground Zero bar in Wandegeya, a Kampala suburb where Mukiibi took a lot of booze and recovered his sense the next day at Kalooke’s place. Mukiibi says on waking up, he felt a lot of pan in the anus, which he allges was a result of the homosexual acts administered on him by Kalooke. Mukiibi says that Kalookole accepted to have done the act and promised medical treatment to Mukiibi but the consequences of the act continued to increase. While addressing journalists this afternoon, the Regional Police Commander Kampala Extra Grace Turyagumanawe said that Mukiibi’s conditions worsened because of the constant penetration of the foreign male organ administered on him. Kalooke later promised to pay 20 million shillings to Mukiibi’s parents but he has been dodging them until yesterday when he was arrested. Turyagumanawe says that police has received information that ground Zero is being used by a racket that flocks after midnight to find victims for sodomizing. He warns parents to guard their sons from this new kind of crime that is taking root in the city. In a related development, police is also holding one Batala Alex for bestiality. Batala was arrested by the Kireka Defense Secretary, Kizito Mohamed while having sex with a dog near Kasumba’s bar in Kasokoso village in Kireka. The Regional Police Commander warns the public about the crime saying that it may cause transfer of animal diseases to human beings.” — African News Dimension (South Africa)
On occasion a story strikes the eye less for the perversion it depicts than for the way in which it is written. Here you have a case in which one party accuses the other of ass rape. It’s not the most uncommon crime and the details are not especially compelling. But it’s hard not to laugh at the funny little twists of English in the story — for example, how the victim awoke with “pan in the anus.” Good God, who wouldn’t hate to wake up with a bit of cookware up his ass? Hopefully the sodomist used a no-stick spray for whatever he was doing up there — the “constant penetration of the foreign male organ administered on him.”
And then there is the “related development,” in which a different guy is accused of having sex with a dog near some other bar. How is this related to the first case? It doesn’t appear that one crime had anything to do with the other. Both involve bars — is inebriation what relates the two cases? The article doesn’t specify in what manner the second perp was importuning the dog. Was he sodomizing it? Putting a pan in its anus?
The BEST part is really “Mukiibi’s conditions worsened because of the constant penetration of the foreign male organ administered on him” Would be a lovely demonstration in how to “clean up” the language of ass rape!
Ouch! What next: Kettles? Waffle Irons? The kitchen sink?
But I will say this about that: More than a few men are anal, anal, anal. I know this from talking to them…a lot of them.
(And pssst…quite a few have homosexual desires upon which they would never act but sure love thinking about when they’ve got their gear shift in their stickly little hands.)
I know I am an opinionated little girl at times, maybe even more than I should be, but I do loves my SuperVert.
PS…your books, NECROPHILIA VARIATIONS and EXTRATERRESTRIAL SEX FETISH are just frickin brilliant. I think I will order two just to pass around to my friends. (Because mine are keepers, if ya know what I mean.)
xo, Angela
Ah-ha! An asshole bandit strikes again, in the night when you least expect it.
Pan in the anus? It’s all greek, I guess. Like RandomChick, what gets me is: “but the consequences of the act continued to increase. While addressing journalists this afternoon, the Regional Police Commander Kampala Extra Grace Turyagumanawe said that Mukiibi’s conditions worsened because of the constant penetration of the foreign male organ administered on him”—Huh??? Did he continue to get drunk and pass out? Continue to frequent the same bar? These victims just never learn…
It’s also curious that instead of condemning the act of bestiality, “The Regional Police Commander warns the public about the crime saying that it may cause transfer of animal diseases to human beings.” — which in fact there is not a substantial medical risk.
I guess appealing to people’s fear of disease is more effective than attempting to reason by way of moral, ethical, religious, or potential animal-cruelty issues.
I’d live to see one of their PSAs (Public Service Announcements) where the police commander consoles the public that wanton sex is alright where it not for the possibility of disease.
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