“A 5′1″ sex offender whose height led a judge to give him probation instead of a prison sentence has been classified by the state as a high risk to reoffend. Richard Thompson of Sidney was classified by the Nebraska State Patrol as a Class Three offender, the highest risk for reoffending. As a Class Three offender, Thompson’s name, address and photo are posted on the State Patrol’s public registry and he must notify the state, through the local sheriff, of any change of address and other information. Attorney General Jon Bruning’s office has filed an appeal of Thompson’s probation sentence. The judge’s decision not to imprison Thompson brought local and national criticism.” — KETV (US)

Here is a picture of Mr. Thompson. As you can see, he probably wouldn’t be an asset to a basketball team, unless he filled a mascot role like that midget that Pedro Martinez dragged around the year the Boston Red Sox won the world series.

This story has so many elements of farce that you hardly need to comment on it. The details speak for themselves — and condemn themselves too. The judge in the case, Kristine Cecava, has become infamous for basing her punishment — probation instead of prison — not on Mr. Thompson’s crime but on his height. There is even an online petition seeking to reverse the decision. Mr. Thompson has registered with the sex offender web site in Nebraska, where prison officials declare that they house shorter guys than him who are “tough as nails.” Meanwhile a spokesperson from the National Organization of Short Statured Adults commended the decision, saying that it is “good to see somebody looking out for someone who is a short person.” Evidently this guy doesn’t count children as short people, since the judge plainly wasn’t looking out for the 12-year-old girl that Mr. Thompson abused.

So does this strike a blow against the rampant heightism that plagues contemporary society? Or does it give a green light to short people to grope little girls? You can imagine midgets and dwarves all across the country preparing a crime wave of hideous proportions. It could be like the Los Angeles riots of a few years ago. Instead of rampaging blacks, however, there would be gangs of homunculi terrorizing the streets. Banks would be robbed by teams of dwarves — they would work in teams because they’d have to climb on each other’s shoulders to reach the teller window. Midget mobs would brawl their way through malls and supermarkets, stealing Pee-Wee Herman dolls, Lil’ Kim CDs, children’s clothes, miniskirts, briefs, short ribs, shortbread, shrimp, Happy Meals. They’d assault tall people, fashion models and basketball players, and grope little people, nymphet teens. Why not? If they know they can get away with it…

Presumably Judge Cecava has not set enough of a legal precedent to make this midget mayhem a reality. Then again, if it came true and dwarves ransacked the land, then the prisons would fill up with marauding munchkins, crime-hardened Oompah Loompahs, and judges would have to give serious thought as to whether it’s fair to send tall people into these hellish enclaves of short people.

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