“Miss Sharapova, consider yourself warned. Wimbledon’s fashion police are on high alert, and are threatening to ban players from the storied grass courts of the The All England Lawn Tennis Club for wearing outfits deemed too revealing. Wimbledon officials have reportedly cautioned competitors that they need to comply with the tournament’s strict and conservative dress code, or risk being disqualified. According to a report in the London Times, the 2006 Wimbledon players’ guide includes these new words of warning: ‘Any competitor who appears on court dressed in a manner which is deemed unsuitable by the committee will be liable to be defaulted.’ The caution is no doubt an attempt to reinforce Wimbledon’s long-standing policy of insisting players wear almost exclusively white attire. But it is also believed to be directed at players such as Sharapova, Tatiana Golovin and Maria Kirilenko, whose tastes tend to lean toward more low-cut and revealing outfits than those traditionally seen at Wimbledon… ‘There have been various outfits over the years that have caused everything from huge enjoyment to huge outrage, depending on your viewpoint,’ Wimbledon tournament referee Andrew Jarrett told the Times.” — Fox Sports (US)

Every year Wimbledon’s obsession with traditional tennis whites becomes an issue in one way or another. In a way, you can understand Wimbledon’s position, since a dress code helps keep the focus on the sport. On the other hand, though, it’s hard to frown on a little bit of cleavage. Professional athletes tend to be exhibitionistic anyway — why shouldn’t they be? They’re young people with well-defined bodies — and really that contributes to the overall spectacle of the game. If you can enjoy the sight of Maria Sharapova’s thighs in those little white miniskirts, what’s the matter with enjoying the sight of her cleavage? It’s not like female tennis players tend to be the best endowed in that department anyway. You’d never mistake Maria Kirilenko for Dolly Parton.

It all makes you wonder if, on the back courts, there are shadow tournaments staged by the young and the rebellious. Maybe they sneak out at night and play strip tennis, where you remove an article of clothing every time you lose a game. Or maybe there’s naked tennis, breasts swinging on the baseline and asses flying through the air to smash a volley. Maybe there’s even sex tennis, players doing it through the net or doubles matches that break down in rampant fucking….

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