“An English teacher from a Colorado High School was arrested Tuesday, after authorities say he attempted to pay to watch two teenage girls fight. A Douglas County Sheriff’s Investigator, posing as a 14-year-old girl, started chatting on-line with 45-year-old Mark Asimus of Denver, CO. According to investigators, Asimus told the investigator that he wanted to pay the girl to aggressively beat up another teenage girl. ‘He did tell investigators that he didn’t want to videotape it, but wanted to actually physically see the assault take place,’ said Lieutenant Alan Stanton with the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office. ‘He wanted to observe this for pleasure,’ said Stanton. Authorities say Asimus was very specific, asking for the fight to result in bloody mouths, noses, and even broken bones. ‘He had a fetish or a fascination with watching women fighting,’ said Stanton. After one day of chatting on-line, Asimus agreed to meet the decoy teenager at a park in Lone Tree. That’s where investigators arrested him Tuesday afternoon.” — WBIR (US)

If you’re looking for insights into the criminal mind, you won’t find much on Mr. Asimus’ blog. He says nothing about girl fights or his fetish for bloody noses. Instead he prattles on about Shakespeare (”I can’t imagine why anyone does anything but read Shakespeare”), the arts, liberal politics, and so forth. It’s so vanilla that you half wonder if he wrote the thing to prove what an upstanding character he is. Or perhaps he wrote it specifically for his English classes and, to give the guy credit, maintained the proper demeanor there.

If you want an insight into the criminal mind, then, you’ll have to look elsewhere. Perhaps this little snippet of info will help you out. According to a different newspaper article, in his efforts to promote a girl fight that would result in “bloody mouths, noses, and even broken bones,” Mr. Asimus would offer the grand sum of one hundred dollars. There’s your insight: the criminal mind is, at least in this case, cheap. How dumb would two girls have to be to break a nose or an arm for a mere fifty bucks? So dumb that they’d never do it, and therefore it’s Mr. Asimus’ idiocy to think that they would. Or as his beloved Shakespeare says somewhere, “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

Meanwhile, it’s interesting to note that Mr. Asimus did not, like most cyber-predators, try to seduce anybody. He was charged with “contributing to the delinquency of a minor, criminal solicitation, and criminal attempt / second-degree assault.” Given that he was a schoolteacher, you have to wonder if this was even an erotic or perverse thing at all. Nowadays teachers aren’t allowed to spank or hit students in any way. Maybe the guy just wanted to take some vengeance on the teens who probably tormented him in countless ways. Or maybe not. Maybe he really was just cheap, too cheap even to pay the membership fee to girlfight.com.

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