Chemical Attack On Sex Shop Called Domestic Terrorism
“Investigators are reviewing surveillance tapes after someone attacked a sex shop preparing to open in Waldo, Fla., in what Alachua County officials are calling an act of domestic terrorism, television station WJXT reported. Detectives said that someone over the weekend set up a homemade device that spewed a chemical throughout the building being readied to open as Cafe Risque, an adult-entertainment store. As of Monday, investigators still had not identified the chemical, but said it was corrosive. A Gainesville Fire-Rescue Department’s hazardous materials team removed the device and tests will be conducted to determine what substance was pumped into the building. ‘It comes under domestic terrorism, we’re going to look at it as such,’ said Alachua County Sheriff’s Office Sgt. Keith Faulk. ‘We’re going to prosecute to the fullest extent as it can.’ Officials said use of such a device is a first-degree felony punishable by up to 30 years in prison. ‘Somebody had a real mastermind behind this,’ Cafe Risque co-owner Jerry Sullivan said. ‘Somebody set out to hurt me, my brother-in-law and my business. And I don’t take lightly to someone hurting my family.’ Sullivan told the station that people around Waldo had tried everything from prayer to protest to keep him from opening the business, but he said neither those tactics nor the most recent attack will keep him away. Construction on the building will continue as planned. The store, which will sell adult magazines, videos and sex toys, is set to open in a couple of months. ‘You don’t want to hear what I got to say; you couldn’t print it on TV,’ Sullivan said. ‘I’m coming; this business is coming. It’s legal and coming. OK?’” — NBC10 (US)
Recently there was a brouhaha here in New York because the feds reduced our allotment of security funds. They thought there was no point protecting the place because, in their view, the Big Apple has no monuments. It was an absurd statement, given the plethora of obvious terror targets — er, monuments — here: Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, Chrysler Building, Rockefeller Center, Times Square, museums, sports stadiums, etc., etc.
But maybe this new development, in which domestic terrorists attempted to launch a chemical attack against an adult shop, clarifies the issue. Evidently monuments are no longer viable terrorist targets unless they display men’s magazines, pornographic DVDs, lubricating gels, dildos, butt plugs, and blowup dolls. Consequently, to secure federal funds New York is going to have to institute some radical changes to the usual tourist destinations. For example, the Statue of Liberty is going to have to be stripped of its toga. Spangly tassles will be attached to its nipples — these will twirl like pinwheels and be visible from the New Jersey shore. As you climb the stairs inside the statue, it will emit increasingly loud moans of pleasure. And instead of being called Lady Liberty, it will henceforth be known as Lady Libertine.