Man Mails Bomb to Surgeon He Claims Botched Penile Enlargement
“A man pleaded guilty to weapons of mass destruction charges for sending a mail bomb to a Chicago surgeon he said botched his penile enlargement surgery, though his attorney questioned whether the charges fit the offense. Brett R. Steidler, 25, of Reamstown, Lancaster County, mailed the explosive device in February 2005 because he was ‘extremely unhappy with the results’ of the $8,000 surgery, Assistant U.S. Attorney Jennifer Arbittier Williams said in court filings. But Steidler alerted authorities before the bomb arrived and it was retrieved from the mail and disarmed. His attorney, Luis A. Ortiz, said Steidler is mentally ill and noted the difference between the roughly 2-year sentence for mailing a letter bomb and the 4- to 8-year sentence for using a weapon of mass destruction. ‘You shouldn’t group this guy with people who drive truck loads of explosives to buildings or gather anthrax or do things for political reasons,’ Ortiz said.” — ABC (US)
You can certainly understand why botched genital surgery would make a guy so pissed off that he flips his lid. Any botched surgery would be cause for rage, but to have it happen to your penis could quite plausibly drive you over the edge into insanity. Imagine all your hopes for a new and invigorated sex life dashed to the ground. Instead of a monster manhood you end up with just a monster — some kinda malformed botch job. You ejaculate liquid silicone or chunks of body fat. No girl will swallow that load and, what’s worse, you know it.
At least the guy came to his senses and helped the police recover the bomb from the mail before it hurt anybody. His attorney is probably right that the charges — weapons of mass destruction, according to a new federal statute — are extreme. The British press, ever witty, was more on target when they headlined this story “Small Package.” That’s more the truth of the matter. A prison sentence may even be redundant, since it can’t compare to the humiliation that must come when the whole world knows that you have a cock that started out small and ended up mauled.
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