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Sudan Man Forced to Marry Goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his ‘wife’, after he was caught having sex with the animal. The goat’s owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders. They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi. ‘We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together,’ Mr Alifi said. Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat. ‘When I asked him: ‘What are you doing there?’, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up’. Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case. ‘They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife,’ Mr Alifi told the newspaper.” — BBC (UK)

(Thanks for the link to Corin, who commented: “Seems like a reasonable outcome all around. The farmer gets value for his livestock, the other man gets a warm loving ‘wife’ for himself. If only everyone was so reasonable. :)”)

Out of all the clichés that ring true when you least want them to, perhaps few have as much bite as the one that states: Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it. From an outside standpoint it might seem perfectly reasonable to oblige the guy to marry his animal desideratum, but just imagine what sort of wife he has ended up with! Goats must make terrible spouses. They’re stubborn, truculent, and not exactly the cleanest of animals. Nannies (female goats) are likely to have beards and no upper front teeth. And unless you rape them, they’re only likely to have sex with you during their estrus.

Usually it’s considered insulting to call your wife a bitch. But if you compare the female dog to the female goat in terms of their respective merits, you might well find out that the dog makes a much better wife — more loyal, more docile, more teeth. Which makes you wonder why it is that to call someone a bitch is insulting but to call someone a nanny is only absurd.

 
Comments Total: 8
Corin
Mar 2 2006
8:03 am

Well, have to disagree with your comments there. Goats are very clean animals, and can easily be housetrained (and enjoy sleeping on beds). And IME, doe goats very much enjoy sex out of estrus :)

mr jolly
Mar 2 2006
11:36 am

Wonder where they’ll spend their honeymoon? Is this a monogamous union, or is Mr Tombe entitled to marry-up with other barnyard denizens?
The mind boggles at the endless questions this situation presents.

intothewind
Mar 2 2006
10:01 pm

What’s it all about Alifi?

LuciousGoddess
Mar 2 2006
10:12 pm

HAD to marry the goat?

Well, that’s too b-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaad.

Seriously, though, she didn’t get to voice an opinion. Maybe she just wanted a “one-nite stand”. Animal rights!

lalaland
Mar 3 2006
11:58 am

My barn or yours sweetie? Here’s a ring for your hoof.

shit on a stick
Apr 5 2006
11:15 am

Don’t anybody fuck horses anymore?

sumboody
Jan 23 2007
7:42 am

Ya know, thats a “punishment” that fits the crime. What would have happened when that goat reached the time it was to be slaughtered for dinner.. would you eat it, knowing where its been?

Wiener
Feb 18 2008
2:39 pm

I have often thought it would be great to have an animal lick my wiener, and a goat I think would be great!

Any thoughts as to how I could entice a goat to lick/suckle on my wiener? Something I could rub on it to get it’s attention?

I have also thought about putting tuna paste on my wiener to get a cat to lick it.

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