Huge Manhood Is a Curse
“Jonah Falcon has the world’s biggest willy at 13 in so you would think he’d be over the moon. But millions of men can take heart — Jonah says the mammoth manhood has ruined his life. He lives with his mum and hasn’t had a girlfriend for ten years. The 35-year-old bedded hundreds of women — and men — until he decided his willy had reduced him to a mere sex toy. Jobless Jonah has gone off casual sex and is now desperate for a steady relationship. The aspiring actor and writer said: ‘When I meet people they find it hard to look me in the eye, they just see what’s in my trousers. It’s become a real problem. When I was younger I went out in tight pants and would sleep with a different person every night, but I became burned out and disillusioned. My last relationship ended in 1996. Now I just want to find a steady girlfriend who doesn’t think I’m a freak show.’ Studies found the average adult aroused penis measures just under 6in. Jonah’s is 13in, 9in unaroused — a fact TV viewers can verify when he appears naked in a C4 documentary in the spring… Jonah insists size doesn’t matter. He added: ‘I often wonder what my life would have been like had I been born a normal size. While I don’t have any regrets, I’d probably be a lot more settled now.’” — The Sun (UK)
The press periodically discovers Mr. Falcon and blathers about his unusual manhood. Rolling Stone did an interesting profile a few years ago. You have to love this factoid: “When erect, Falcon’s penis generates enough heat to warm hands — campfire style — from a distance of six inches.” An unrevealing picture accompanies the Rolling Stone article. Since seeing is believing, here is a more suggestive photo of Mr. Falcon wearing tight pants. Pictures of Mr. Falcon actually naked are difficult to come by, but here are two (nsfw!): one and two.
It is difficult to sympathize with Mr. Falcon’s claim that the enormity of his penis ruined his life. A New Yorker who claimed in one article to be “so unaffected” by a challenging childhood, Mr. Falcon’s father died young and his mother apparently couldn’t raise him by herself, so he moved from relatives to foster care and back. It doesn’t take a lot of psychoanalytical insight to consider that this scattered upbringing probably has more to do with his current sad-sack life — no job, no girlfriend, living at home with mom — than his penis. A monster cock doesn’t prevent any man from educating himself or getting a job. Get over it, Jack.
All that being said, an odd thought arises when you contemplate a man with a penis the size of a horse cock. When this guy fucks somebody, is it like being fucked by a horse? And if it is, does that lessen the shock of the Enumclaw case — in which a man was fucked to death by a horse — that made so many headlines last year? After all, if it’s like screwing a horse to have sex with Mr. Falcon, then perhaps having sex with a horse is not quite as outrageous or weird as you might at first imagine. Maybe it’s just like having sex with a lonely, out-of-work, aging guy from Brooklyn who happens to have a monster shlong.
I would pay to see him cramming that thing up Stephen Baldwin’s ass.
Hey! I saw this Jesus-freak type dude protesting outside a porno shop out on route 59. He was whining about everbody having a dick bigger than him except maybe Michael Jackson. I believe his actual words were “Waah, I hate these porno stars, they’re freaks with their big dicks and shaved balls, I don’t have a dick like that, it’s not natural and I’ve decided that this needs to end waah.”
“he decided his willy had reduced him to a mere sex toy”…
Huh? What’s wrong with being a sex toy? Nevertheless, he does look depressed (please note I did not say down, or deflated) in the tight pants pic, but the nude one, well, um, how does enough blood get into a…um, well, one THAT size, and stay there long enough to, uh, you know…FINISH THE JOB?
Must be hard. I mean, life. Must be a hard LIFE.
poor jonah, so sad about being a freak, but then posing in those silly tight pants. if he wanted to be modest, why does he continue on posing and doing interviews? yes, appearing naked in an upcoming documentory will certainly attract a quality relationship.
This Pilsbury dough-boy thinks he’s a sex-toy, ha ha?
That’s typical thinking for a bagel eating bug eyed closet homo. What’s he doing fooling around with other men if he ain’t queer? And he’s looking for “a steady relationship”. With who? or should I say With what? A cow? an elephant? Monica Lewinski?
He probably stays home, blowing himself when mommy nods off in front of the telly.
There’s something “screwy” about this whole story anyway: here’s a thirty-five year old unemployed man living at home with his mother and he hasn’t had a girlfriend for ten years? Why?
I just can’t buy the “I became burned out and disillusioned” bullshit story.
Every time I tell these people I’m NOT unhappy, they print I’m unhappy.
Hey – send this guy my way – I can accommodate his big dick in all three of my inputs!
how does this guy cope wiv 1 this size i mean ive got a bg dick at 8 inches floppy n 11 wen hard n i struggle too keep it my pants n walk around with a big bulge
I really don’t get this guy – I’m blessed with a very thick dick (often described as a glass milk bottle) and chicks get off just looking at it. It’s great to watch hotties stare at my pants and begin to blush. I don’t even need foreplay cause the bitches are soaking wet just holding it for the first time.
Maybe the girl (?) from the Feb 18 2006 post might like some of this action…
Wow that is some piece of man meat! I am married but I’ll admit if I had met that big hunk of man before I met my wife it might be a different story. You better freaking believe it! Wow! What a humungus dongus!!! After a workout with that big sausage all a guy could say “OH MY GOD! IT HURT SO GOOD!” Mama said there would be days like this, you better believe she did! I think I’m in love and furthermore I just might faint!
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