Farting and Eros
“Trivia no Izumi (Fount/Spring of Trivia) outdid itself tonight, with a survey to find out when people who had been married for three years first heard their wife pass gas! They interviewed 1000 Japanese husbands by means of an internet poll, and as you can see in the pie chart on the right, almost half the wives (43%) couldn’t keep it in for more than a year. 29% first let rip in the second year, 16% avoided a bottom burp until their third year, and 12% of husbands have been spared their wives’ anal emissions. For good measure, this segment of the show also had face-to-face interviews with some of the husbands describing the how and where of their wives’ flatulance, accompanied by their wedding photos, leaving their neighbours in no doubt who they were talking about! To finish up this item of trivia, they persuaded one of the wives who had never passed gas in front of her husband to try to do it, so their hidden cameras could capture this moment for posterior-ity…” — WhatJapanThinks.com (Japan)
PervScan doesn’t normally reprint material from other blogs, but this summary of an episode from the Japanese game show Spring of Trivia was too good to pass up. Here’s a big tip of the hat to WhatJapanThinks.com.
Althouth Japanese society is known for its sense of bon ton, this survey about farting and love probably holds true for couples in any part of the world. It takes a while to feel comfortable stinking up the joint in front of your significant other — and few couples, need it be said, intentionally include farting in their sexual relationships. It’s almost odd, given the extent to which scat has become an increasingly visible part of contemporary pornography. You get the sense that gas is more taboo than shit.
Which makes an individual who sexualizes farting all the more perverse. For example, a guy recently told PervScan about how it excites him to fart while staring into the face of a pretty girl. When he gets in the mood, Farter consumes dairy products, which make him flatulent. Then he roams the city looking for tightly packed crowds — people on crowded subway trains, tourist groups trying to jam their way into a Broadway show, etc. He positions himself in front of a pretty girl, stares into her face, and then — rrriiip! He lets loose. If it’s an audible fart, Farter relishes the look of shock on the girl’s face — evidently this is the same thrill an exhibitionist gets, except that rather than expose his genitalia to her sight he exposes his ass to her smell. (It’s safer too, since you can’t get arrested for farting.)
And if it’s not an audible fart, Farter claims that he still gets a rush simply from looking into her face while he cracks wind. He insisted, in fact, that it was not enough to fart near her or behind her — he had to look directly into her face, absorb her prettiness while producing his interior movements. Evidently it must be sort of the stinky equivalent of ejaculating onto a girl’s face — a flatulent facial.
An article in the New York Daily news stated that the results of a survey by Novartis, the maker of an anti-gas product called Gas-X found: Nearly 1 in 5 people surveyed admit that embarrassing flatulence has halted intimacy. So much for unconditional love.
The survey of 1,500 men and women also asked folks to rate the worst places for malodorous emissions. The top three: at a business meeting, on a date and in an elevator. But 78% said they have no problem letting one rip in the privacy of their homes.
I don’t know about everybody else, but my girlfriend and I like to gross each other out with our gas. And we pretty much always have. There’s nothing really sexual about it either. I suppose we owe this ability to the fact that we are best friends before “people in a relationship”.
There is no such thing as unconditional love among animals, including humans. And, if my hubby ever tried to gross me out with his butt burps, well, I would have to kill him. (no, not with one of mine!)
Dried beans, such as lima, red, pinto, kidney etc. produce enormous amounts of stomach gas, especially when used in certain dishes (my favorite, chili, is a real gass), while vegtables such as broccoli, onions, cauliflower, cabbage, radishes and raw apples may produce farts of unusual pungency. Don’t those seem like the ideal salad ingredients? And don’t forget that old favorite “Pickled eggs” washed down with lots of beer. So…
PARTY AT LuciousGoddess’PLACE!!!
We’re bringing plenty of bean burritos, bean dip, pickled eggs, cases of beer, chili frijoes, and a large green garden salad…see you there..
Yes, well, I’ll be sure to open all the windows and leave all the fans running. That said, I still am scared of your grocery list, so please, if anyone wants to smoke, do so outside, no use in blowing up the house, what WOULD the neighbors say???
(intothewind UR funny)
To LuciousGoddess, I just read an article titled:
Does Your Job Stink? Worst Workplace Smells.
by Mary Lorenz
Careerbuilder.com
You’d like to believe you’re the easygoing type: the person who gets along with anyone and can adapt easily to any situation. You’re not one to let small nuisances bother you. After all, you’re a lover, not a fighter. Yep, things just roll right off your chest
Except…
Well, okay, there’s this guy. And he’s really nice and all, but every time he makes popcorn, he burns it — every single time! — and successfully infects the entire office with its stench. You’ve tried being subtle with loud and deliberate coughing while the unmistakable aroma of scorched kernels emanates throughout the office. But much to everyone’s chagrin, he just doesn’t get the hint.
Like the colleague who believes there’s no such thing as too much White Diamonds perfume and the officemate whose daily announcements that his “dogs are barking” as he kicks off his loafers have put a dark, putrid cloud over 3 p.m., your co-worker is guilty of OOO (Offensive Office Odor).
Burnt popcorn, stinky feet and potent fragrances are three of the most common smells about which office workers complain. Other common workplace odors include:
* Bad breath
* Cigarette smoke
* Foods with overpowering smells like tuna, garlic or onion
* Decaying or moldy leftovers
* Body odor
* Flatulence
*****This sounds like the weekly get together at the local pub….much less a work place. The only difference being the smell of stale beer, vomit and the occasional whiff of urine and feces found in most local drinking spots. And for heaven’s sake, if you have to use the bathroom, don’t touch anything!!
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