“Police are probing the unexplained death of a man found dressed in fetish gear and zipped up in a latex bodybag. The 35-year-old was dressed head to toe in rubber and entombed in the giant sheath. He died of swelling to the brain — thought to have been caused by overheating. Stunned cops found him in the bedroom of his home in South Lambeth Road, Kennington, on Sunday morning after his sister reported him missing from work. Detectives have carefully examined the fetish gear for signs of foul play but have ruled out murder. A source said: ‘The dead man’s sister realised something was wrong and phoned police. They forced entry and found his body covered in a latex bodybag.’ The man was clothed in full S&M regalia ‘Their first thought was foul play but all the evidence now points to either suicide or a tragic accident…’ Latex bodybags and hoods are typically used in S&M sex and role-play and are becoming increasingly popular on the UK fetish scene. They usually come with health warnings highlighting the danger of suffocation or overheating.” — ICSouthLondon (UK)

One of the newspapers covering this story identified the deceased fetishist and another mentioned that he had a “female partner” and a young child. The guy had a common name, which made him very difficult to google. There’s somebody with the same name who works for a government agency in England, but it’s hard to tell if it’s the same guy. Anyway, his relative anonymity to us certainly won’t detract from the grief of his family.

And that’s the basic moral of this story: some sex toys are “toys” only in the same sense as guns or heavy machinery. If you respect them and use them wisely, they can be a source of unique pleasure. If you don’t, then you may well find yourself nominated for a Darwin Award. And who really wants that etched on his tombstone? Here Lies So-And-So, Loving Partner and Father, Darwin Award Finalist. Having that on your tombstone is tantamount to saying, Here Lies an Idiot.

And that’s why the term “safe sex” has always seemed like a bad moniker. Wouldn’t it be better to call it “smart sex?” After all, “safe sex” implies boundaries. The very term practically throws down a challenge to defy it. Who really wants to be safe? “Smart sex,” on the other hand, might inspire people like this bodybag man to use their heads while indulging their urges. After all, who wants to be guilty of “dumb sex?”

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