“A 40-year-old Hartford man was arrested on allegations that he placed envelopes containing photos of his genitals on or in vehicles of unsuspecting females who had parked to shop at local malls in Hartford, West Bend and Germantown. Jeffrey Hein appeared in Washington County Circuit Court on Thursday on eight counts of lewd and lascivious behavior and five counts of disorderly conduct… Jones said that, during questioning, Hein said ‘he wasn’t doing it in a stalking manner, but more of a joke.’ It appears, Jones said, that the women who had photos placed on their cars weren’t in danger, and ‘that should be a relief to the community.’ Jones said Hein created the photos on more of a ‘massive scale at a time, and had them available to him. He had one to three in his vehicle and when he had the opportunity is when he claims to have done it.’ In the Germantown incident, said Police Chief Pete Hoell, Hein allegedly placed a photo in a car parked in an apartment building complex ‘next door to the police department.’” —Greater Milwaukee Today (US)

In his defense, Mr. Hein told police that he had originally taken the photos in order to sell them to a pornographic web site. (When you have a look at this guy’s handlebar moustache, you can only imagine that gay porn sites would have been interested in him.) When that failed, he said he found himself with a bunch of photos to get rid of. Rather than dump them in the trash, he thought it would be a hoot to leave them on cars, like parking tickets. “He had done it to make them happy, to make them giggle,” police told one newspaper. “He thought it was funny as a practical joke.” Mr. Hein also told police that some women did laugh when they saw the pictures. (Maybe he had a tiny penis?) But apparently not all of them caught onto the “joke,” because some called the cops.

Probably this business about it being a practical joke is an attempt to cover up a more deviant motive. After all, this guy is not alone: in recent times there have been a guy who left sex notes on windshields and another who left pictures of his genitalia on parked cars. Evidently what these stories point to is the emergence of a mutant form of exhibitionism. The people who experience this hybrid lust are still able to get one of the traditional thrills of exhibitionism, which is to observe the reaction of shock and surprise that the victim emits when bumping into a genital somewhere. Conversely, these new flashers are also able to minimize the amount of risk associated with their exhibitionism by doing it vicariously, leaving a photo of themselves rather than whipping open a trench coat.

It’s sort of a “have your cake and eat it too” version of exhibitionism or, to look at it from another vantage point, a cowardly form of it. Why cowardly? For the obvious reason that these guys are pervy enough to want to expose themselves but not man enough to face up to the consequences.

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