“A 48-year-old Frenchman who is accused of rape collected other men’s sperm from used condoms and left traces at the crime scene in order to confuse police, justice officials said today. Jean-Luc Cayez, who worked as doorman of an apartment block at Soisy-sur-Seine south of Paris, told police that he extracted the condoms from the building’s rubbish bins and then froze the contents. Cayez has confessed to the rape and murder of Audrey Jouannet, 24, who was found dead in her apartment in the building last month, officials said. The doorman came under immediate suspicion because he had two previous convictions for rape, but he appeared to be exonerated when the sperm found on the woman’s sheets was found not to be his. Cayez said he got the idea from watching a detective program on television.” — TheAustralian.com (Australia)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

It’s too bad you can’t trademark deviant ideas, because PervScan actually came up with this technique in a text written in 1994 and ultimately published in Necro Enema Amalgamated’s BLAM! 3 CD-ROM. It would be funny to think that somehow the idea filtered from there through various mass media to the head of Monsieur Cayez. Then again, since that might imply some liability — like a bartender who serves a drunk driver too many drinks — maybe it wouldn’t be funny. Never mind.

What genuinely is funny is the image of Monsieur Cayez pawing through trash bins on the lookout for used condoms. Certainly that implies a high degree of premeditation, because you have to be pretty serious to bother milking old ejaculate from garbage prophylactics. And you also have to be pretty serious to “freeze the contents,” since most people would probably gag at the thought of keeping iced sperm in the freezer alongside fish sticks and meat patties.

All that being said, the peculiar thing about this case is simply that Monsieur Cayez was ever caught. The “DNA disinformation” strategy had worked well enough. Remarking that Monsieur Cayez was a convicted sex offender, police immediately suspected him in the murder of Audrey Jouannet — but his sperm didn’t match that on the body, so he was exculpated. Police remained suspicious, though, and somehow convinced him to confess. Why would he ever do such a thing? Was he proud of his DNA disinformation strategy — an idea that wasn’t even unique? Evidently what he really needed to conceal was not his semen but his tongue.

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