“‘No pants, no shirt, no shoes,’ the cell-phone caller who dialed 911 reported late Friday morning. Seconds later: ‘Uh, now he’s nude. Now he’s running down the street nude.’ An emergency-phone conversation between the cell-phone caller and a Volusia County Sheriff’s Office dispatcher detail the nude man’s movements. ‘Somebody’s coming, man. Put your clothes back on, they’re coming, man,’ the 911 caller yelled to the man just before the naked guy got into the caller’s Ford F150 amid cries of ‘No, man. No, no dude,’ and then ‘Ow! Ow!’ No one seemed to be hurt during the brief struggle, phone records indicate, and the naked man eventually left the truck. According to the phone conversation, the man then strolled closer to the school, popped something into his mouth and sat in the grass near a pump station. The 911 caller told a dispatcher that ‘a bunch of kids’ were outside. ‘I don’t think anyone from the school sees him,’ the caller said. ‘There’s a little sub [pump] station in the bushes, and I think he’s behind it.’ School officials said they had no idea anything was going on until after the man had been detained by deputy sheriffs. About 12 minutes after receiving the 911 call, authorities found the man in the school parking lot, where he had been trying to get into cars, said Sheriff’s Office spokesman Brandon Haught. The naked man was to be taken to a nearby medical facility for a mental-health evaluation.” —Orlando Sentinel (US)

To a New Yorker, it is difficult to imagine calling the police on a streaker. You see so many weird things here — including public nakedness — that a streaker is just more grist for the mill. In fact, that may be the very reason that in New York you rarely see a streaker in the classical sense — a guy racing naked through the streets just for a bit of wicked fun. After all, it’s not like you’re going to shock anybody. Metropolitan cynicism detracts from the thrill of exposure. Besides, New York is a tough town. If you run naked through the streets here, somebody might trip you and steal your penis while you’re lying on the ground.

Be that as it may, this is still a funny story. It has the precise structure of a comedy skit: a witness observes a peculiar thing, calls the police to describe it, and then gets sucked incongruously into the action. How can you not laugh at the image of the streaker climbing into the caller’s own vehicle? How can you not laugh at the reported conversation? “No, man. No, no dude… Ow! Ow!” Maybe this was a streaker who was motivated less by the desire to shock people than by the need to make them laugh.

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