“A 60-year-old Athens man was arrested last Saturday for allegedly having sex with a roommate’s Boston terrier, Athens-Clarke police said. A Noketchee Drive man said he woke up about 9 a.m. and was going to the kitchen for something to drink when he passed by the living room where he saw Sam Willie McIntosh naked and having sexual intercourse with another roommate’s 2-year-old dog, named Precious according to police. McIntosh was charged with bestiality and cruelty and released on $3,400 bond. Precious was taken for treatment at a Winterville animal hospital, where a veterinarian used swabs to collect apparent semen from the animal, police said.” —Athens Banner-Herald (US)

It is unfortunate that stories such as this only present the barest minimum of detail. You can imagine that the actual sequence of events must have contained some pretty fascinating incident. For example, what happened at the moment when the perp was caught pants-down with Precious? Did the witness grab the phone and call the cops? (What do you say to the 911 operator? “Quick! Somebody’s fucking a dog!” And how do the 911 operators convince themselves that it’s not a joke?) Did he go rouse the third roommate, the dog owner? (”Hey, wake up. Sam’s fucking Precious.” Hunh?) Did he confront the perp or give him a chance to explain himself? (”My God, Sam! It looks like you’re fucking the dog! What gives?”) Did he restrain the perp until the police arrived? Or did he surreptitiously call the police and let them in so that they could catch Mr. McIntosh in the midst of the dirty deed?

Somehow the fact that a veterinarian was able to scrape a semen sample from Precious’ innards — her ass? her cunt? — seems significant. Had Mr. McIntosh finished blowing his wad before the roommate discovered him? Were there a few frantic moments of pumping when Mr. McIntosh hurried to orgasm before the police arrived? Did the veterinarian really swab semen from the dog, or was it just pre-cum? And why did Mr. McIntosh not think to avail himself of a condom?

There are so many unanswered questions… It makes you wonder if the local reporter wasn’t doing his job — or perhaps, given the nature of the case, didn’t want to do his job.

VideoBox

It's like the iTunes Music Store for Porn. Download unlimited high-quality video for only $9.95/month.