Rape Fantasy Defense
“A 17-year-old [high school] student has been indicted on charges that he raped a friend… The police said [the accused] visited the girl at her home just after noon on May 18. The girl stayed home sick, and [the accused] left school early to go to a doctor’s appointment, the police said. At the time, [the accused] and the girl were juniors at [a high school], and the girl told the police that she and [the accused] have been friends for years. The girl let [the accused] inside her home, and the two were sitting on her bed talking when she said he started wrestling with her and commented on the size of her breasts, according to a police affidavit. She told the police that she covered herself with a pillow and told him to stop. They started fighting over the pillow and [the accused] began pulling her pants down, according to the affidavit. She told the police that she was screaming at him to stop, but [the accused] continued to take off her clothes, ripping her bra in the process, according to the affidavit. [The accused] then raped her, she said. When he left, the girl called the police. The girl told the police that she had never had sex with [the accused] before and that they were never involved in a romantic relationship, the police said. She said [the accused] had tried to touch her sexually before, but not recently, said Hopkinton Police Chief David Wheeler. When the girl recounted the events to the police, she became visibly ill and vomited during the interview, the police said. [The accused] told the police that this wasn’t the first time the two had had sex, and he said he forced himself on her because she told him it was a fantasy of hers, the police said. ‘She’s told me in the past how she wants to do it rough, and, like, she wanted me to rape her,’ [the accused] said, according to a police affidavit. ‘She’d be, like, just acting like she didn’t want it. So today I did that. I went over to her house and I kind of like raped her, but it wasn’t really a rape. It was, like, just fulfilling her fantasy.’ The girl denies that she ever told [the accused] of a rape fantasy.” —Concord Monitor (US)
(PervScan has edited the names in the story — partly out of respect for the fact that those involved are underage, partly to discourage their equally underaged friends from finding the story and coming here to post on it.)
It would be interesting to know how many sixteen-year-old girls leave off dreaming about Leonardo DiCaprio to indulge in fantasies of being raped. Maybe Teen People can do a poll. Somehow it just doesn’t sound like the sort of daydream that inhabits the mind of most teen girls — which is another way of saying that the accused’s claim doesn’t sound very convincing. It’s not impossible, of course, but it certainly has the ring of a scared young man’s desperately contrived excuse.
The newspaper article goes on to explore the issues of consent in the case, contrasting rape — where no consent has been given — with daterape, in which there might be some consent but the aggressor has overstepped implicit or explicit bounds. In that regard, it’s worth pointing out that the girl allowed the boy — who had previously tried to initiate sexual activity between them — to come into her room and sit on her bed. This might imply that the act is closer to daterape than to rape. But all the same, the stated facts of the case clearly indicate that the young man wasn’t too concerned about any of the subtleties of consent. In fact, he admits raping her. It’s just that, according to him, the rape wasn’t a rape: “I kind of like raped her, but it wasn’t really a rape.” No doubt it will be difficult to convince a jury of that.
The story ends on an ironic note, pointing out that the young man and his victim are both still enrolled in the same high school. Officials say they’ll make an effort to alter their schedules and thereby “minimize contact” between the two, but maybe they won’t have to. The kid will probably be in prison by back-to-school days.
“It comes as a surprise to some people that rape fantasies occur to about 24% of men and 36% of women (Knox, 1984, p. 283). Over 10% of women report that being forced to have sex is their favorite sexual fantasy (Doskoch, 1995). Remember, fantasies are not wishes! The rape fantasies of women may reflect a desire, not to be hurt, but to be attractive, to be passive, and to avoid the responsible for the sexual act.”
http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap10/chap10r.htm
Rape fantasy does seem to be fairly common in women and I would be surprised if it was less common in a 17 year old. Which does not of course, justify any action taken by this young man unless there is very,very good evidence to suggest that this was part of truly consensual sex play with ’safe words’ etc.
I prefer the ones who struggle.
Plenty of teenage girls have rape fantasies. Most don’t act on them until they’re in their twenties. Some girls just grow up faster than others.
first off, having a rape fantasy in no way entitles a boy to rape a girl.
secondly, I’ve sat on the beds of friends of mine in situations completely undatelike plenty of times. The one does not imply the other.
“Just because someone has a fantasy … ”
We hear this over and over. But no one actually asks whether people act out fantasies of ravishment. They do — after careful planning and discussion with someone they trust. That is the most sure-fire way to shoot down an actual rapist’s attempt to defend his actions as “fulfilling a fantasy.” You still need the enactment to be consensual, and that requires communication so that both/all parties are on the same page. You don’t just “know” s/he wants it … you know in detail how, where, when, with whom, et cetera.
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