“The handwritten notes have been appearing on the windshields of cars parked by women at area malls — among them Paramus Park, the Fashion Center and the Garden State Plaza. All of the scrawled messages make sexual references about the driver’s looks. Police are now seeking the public’s help in finding the person responsible. ‘It has happened 19 times since October,’ Police Chief Fred Corrubia said Friday, ‘but nobody has seen the individual…’ A handwriting expert confirmed that the same hand penned the script on all of the notes, Corrubia said. Harassment charges await the author, he said. First, however, police have to find that individual. To this point authorities have been unable to lift any fingerprints from the notes. ‘He’s not being smart,’ Corrubia said. ‘It just means he watches television. ‘C.S.I.’ is killing us.’” —NorthJersey.com (US)

Sometimes it can be exciting to receive a note from a secret admirer, and sometimes it can be harrassment. Presumably the difference has to do with two things. First, it’s only exciting to have a secret admirer when you can formulate some reasonable suspicion as to whom that person might be — and obviously this is difficult to do when you come out of the parking lot of a Marshall’s and find a dirty note on your windshield. Second, the exact contents of the note are no doubt decisive. If you find a note that says, “You are the most beautiful person in the world and I’ve loved you from afar,” you might feel a little thrilled. Conversely, if you find a note that says, “I love your big tits and I want to fuck you like a jackhammer in the back of your white Toyota,” you might feel a little threatened.

So much for the psychology of the recipient. What about the author of these notes? Just what is his pleasure? To some extent, it’s probably no different than the kick that construction workers get when they wolf-whistle at a girl walking by in a miniskirt. Whether it’s a letter or a whistle, there’s some inherent thrill in exposing your admiration and your desire to a pretty girl. What’s more, it probably helps the perp to race home and formulate realistic sexual fantasies. The note enables him to fabricate a scenario in which the female responds: “Oh yes, creepy stranger, fuck me like a jackhammer in my Toyota.” Granted, no woman is ever going to bestow her favors on this guy. But, to his mind, the very fact that she received this note at least opens up a potential for dialogue. Without it, there’s no communication at all. She wouldn’t even know of his existence.

(P.S. Note to law enforcement: it shouldn’t be difficult to catch this guy. He’s the last person in New Jersey to write by longhand.)

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