“Sex may have undone weeks of work devoted to conjuring up invisibility for a large group of armed men on a mission to fight for the secession of the Caprivi Region from the rest of Namibia. This was one of the nuggets of wisdom that a Zambian medicine man, Ackson Lienya Masule, offered to the High Court at Grootfontein when he became the seventh State witness to testify in the Caprivi high treason trial yesterday… Masule explained that the treatment started with him collecting powerful medicinal roots and cooking them in a pot. He would then put a blanket over his patient, thoroughly ’steam’ the patient over three pots, and then, holding the ‘patient’ by his little finger, he would let the person pass under him between his spread legs. He also gave other instructions to the people he treated, Masule added. That was that they should not eat fish with bones inside, nor meat with bones, and were not allowed to have sex with a woman during the day. Somewhere, someone did not obey him, it seems, because it appears that the invisibility spell was not the success that had been hoped for. Masule’s explanation on this score was, once again to the great amusement of the 120 men in the dock: ‘If he disobeyed the instructions that I gave and had sexual intercourse with a woman during the day, that’s his fault.’” —The Namibian (Namibia)

If you’re ever having a day when you think that fundamentalists and puritans have overrun America with their repressive mantras, it is worthwhile to pause and read a story such as this. You could live in the Bible Belt and still feel grateful for your freedoms when you consider one of these African backwaters where people still give credence to witch doctors. You may have to listen to televangelists or born-again do-gooders or right-wing legislators speak of the evils of sex toys, but at least you don’t have to tolerate a bunch of baloney about invisibility potions and how they can be ruined by sexual behavior.

What a scam! Think about it. If your livelihood depended on your ability to make a hundred soldiers invisible for a battle, you’d make it contingent on abstinence too — for the very reason that the odds of a hundred soldiers remaining abstinent are about nil. In fact, even if your crazy brew of roots worked and made them invisible, what do you think these invisible warriors would do with the hours before their battle? Naturally they’d run around raping the hottest women within a ten-mile radius of their camp. Hell, if you had the cloak of invisibility to protect you from getting caught, isn’t that what you’d do?

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