“A man used a mobile phone camera to provide telephone sex with a difference, a Sydney court heard yesterday. John Kristy Parker, 50, sent video footage of himself masturbating to more than 100 women across Australia… The Heidelberg Magistrates’ Court was told Parker had made 253 calls during which he pointed the camera on his video phone at his genitals and masturbated. Police prosecutor Sen-Constable Russell Gardner told the court many victims also received follow-up calls asking them ‘if they had enjoyed the show’… The court also heard several witnesses had contacted police only to be told that nothing could be done as the obscene calls had come from a silent number. Then last year Melbourne police followed up on a complaint and executed a search warrant at Parker’s home. Parker was arrested and when interviewed admitted calling the complainant. Police said he also admitted to calling numerous other female victims.” —The Sunday Mail (Australia)

Here’s an axiom for you: for every innovation in technology there will be a corresponding innovation in sexuality. Invent the automobile, people will use it to go parking. Invent the video phone, people will use it to send and receive dirty pictures. There’s something ineluctable about it — though of course this doesn’t make such behavior legal or acceptable.

At the same time, it’s hard to believe that exhibitionism is much of a crime. Obviously there are extremes: society is entirely right to prevent flashers from pleasuring themselves outside the windows of kindergarten classes. But these random sorts of lewd behavior? You can always look away. When it targets your phone, you can always hang up. A guy mailing you a video of himself jerking off is less annoying then the sound of a jackhammer or the smell of a sewer. And in its lesser forms exhibitionism is precisely that sort of offense: it’s a nuisance, like noise pollution.

Then again, it’s a hardened New Yorker writing that. We urbanites endure a lot. Not long after moving to the Big Apple, wee little PervScan once saw a homeless woman masturbating on the subway. She was skanky, smelly, dirty, and horny. The sight made you want to barf. But at the same time it made you want to laugh, and so you laughed, shirked it off, told your friends about it later and then laughed some more. And that’s about the way much exhibitionism should be treated: with laughter, sarcasm, ridicule. In fact, that attitude might go a long way toward putting a damper on flashers, since nothing quite kills an erection like derision.

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