“A scientist has come up with a musical condom that gets louder as the sex gets more vigorous. The singing protective is designed to be a laugh for couples who want to make their own sweet music, says Ukrainian inventor Dr Grigoriy Chausovskiy. Different lovemaking positions determine what tune is played by the condom, which also works like a normal contraceptive. The rubber has tiny sensors connected to a mini electronic device that produces the sounds. ‘But there is no danger of being electrocuted,’ said Dr Chausovskiy, who has teamed up with a manufacturer to export the condoms to Britain. They will cost about 20 per cent more than normal condoms. ‘But people will pay for the extra stimulation,’ he said.” —The Sun (UK)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

In the first place, you have to wonder about The Sun. Their stories are so bizarre that they’re quoted wide and far, and yet often their stories are also impossible to verify. Now it may be that they have the exclusive scoop, but after a while — when you see incredible story after incredible story that no other news source has — you have to wonder…. Is The Sun the equivalent in the UK of the Weekly World News? Are their stories pure fabrications? Google this inventor of the musical condom and, aside from offshoots of this story, nothing comes up. Nothing.

In the second place, consider the idea of a musical condom — really consider it, give it a close look. Maybe technologically it would be possible to have it respond to pressure and emit tones. But how would you hear them? Presumably the condom is inside an orifice. Presumably you’re already grooving to the tune of pussy farts and whatever other squishy sex sounds your bodies are emitting. How do you hear the condom too? Do you put a speaker in your asshole and run a wire to it?

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