“Officials at the American Nazi Party’s national headquarters today announced they rejected former pop star and accused pedophile Michael Jackson’s membership application not because of his race, but on grounds of ‘moral turpitude’… Jackson, who contrary to some opinions is African American, currently is on trial for having sex with minors and possession of child pornography… ‘We weighed all the pros and cons,’ ANP chair Emma Brown said. ‘We welcome his continued efforts to lighten his skin color, and we also consider his uniform and armband fetish a plus….’ Jackson said he didn’t really share the ANP’s political view. In view of the fact, however, that his fan base has continued to decline, he has been looking for ’someone — anyone, really’ to hang out with… Brown said it would not be likely that Jackson would ever be eligible for party membership, even if he did embroider his armbands with swastikas, as he promised. ‘With the Holocaust turning out to be not a myth, after all, we have all sorts of public relations problems, as you can imagine,’ she explained. ‘So we have to be a bit more selective in our membership criteria. Pedophiles — even just alleged ones — are just not good for our public image.’” —The Spoof (US)

Normally PervScan doesn’t link to obvious satires, such as this story about Michael Jackson attempting to join the American Nazi Party. But then normally PervScan does not find itself at a loss for stories. You see, there is obviously a methodology at work here. Unlike some pervy link farms, PervScan attempts to reproduce not just any old tale of depravity. It looks for interesting tales of depravity, and usually these are more than plentiful. Often PervScan passes on some stories simply because there are too many to choose from. But then occasionally there are lulls, times when you can find a thousand stories of the usual variety: priest arrested for child pornography, athlete accused of raping girl at party, schoolteacher caught with his pants down, stupid jerk arranges internet tryst with thirteen-year-old only to find out that “she” was a state cop… After a while, there’s nothing perverse about these stories. To the contrary, they become the norm. They are the norm. Whether you realize it or not — and if you read PervScan, you may — the world around you is buzzing with normal sex crimes.

So what does all this have to do with Michael Jackson? Well, Jacko’s predicament is precisely one of these “normal sex crimes.” To call it “normal” is not to excuse it, of course, but he is one of a million similar stories out there: guy accused of child abuse. Google the mere word “sex” and you’ll find more instances of this type than you care to know exist. The only thing that makes Michael Jackson’s story unique is his fame, his wealth, and perhaps also the freakishness that his fame and wealth enable him to indulge. There are a lot of child molesters out there, but not too many of them have artificially whitened skin and a nose that’s undergone rhinoplasty so many times that it seems to be turning to jelly before our very eyes.

Given the absolute normality of Jackson’s alleged crime, and given the sameness of the commentary his trial is inspiring, a spoof such as this is precisely what’s needed. It’s a cute antidote to the homogeneity of opinion. It portrays MJ as so pathetic that he’d turn to Nazis for friends, and it portrays the Nazis as “moral.” Is the spoof in poor taste? Absolutely. Is it racist or anti-semitic? Hardly. Is it funny? Definitely. Enjoy it while it lasts, because there is an entire world of dull perversions still awaiting your attention.

VideoBox

It's like the iTunes Music Store for Porn. Download unlimited high-quality video for only $9.95/month.