“Cops are hunting a sex fiend dressed as a chocolate peanut. The pervert — in a blue M&M sweet outfit — attacked a 24-year-old woman on her way home from a party. Police said the attacker was dressed like M&M character Mr Cool. He struck at 4am on New Year’s Day at Stradey Woods in Llanelli, West Wales. His victim staggered home before alerting police. Inspector Tom Edwards said detectives were checking fancy dress parties to find where the attacker might have been. He said: ‘The woman claims she was assaulted by a man in a distinctive blue fancy dress outfit.’” —The Sun (UK)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

Another article about this story suggests that the attacker wasn’t really dressed like the blue M&M Mr Cool. “It is going a bit far to suggest he looked like a giant peanut. He was simply wearing a blue boiler suit with the letter M and there was nothing on his head,” said a police spokesperson.

Either way, it certainly is novel to assault someone while dressed up like a cartoon character. On one hand, it is no surprise when people disguise themselves to commit a crime of some sort. On the other hand, usually they don’t select flamboyant disguises. For example, when a guy robs a bank, usually he wears a ski mask or something to that effect. He doesn’t don an outrageous period costume. He doesn’t wear a hot pink feather boa or gold-spangled high heels. He doesn’t rob a bank dressed as the Scarlet Pimpernel.

Which means you have to ask yourself: Why would anybody assault someone else while wearing such a flamboyant blue costume? Probably it was mere opportunism: the perp was returning from a costume party, stumbled across his victim, and gave her an unwanted shag. But you could easily imagine other, more interesting motives. For example, maybe the guy just thought it was funny. After all, setting aside the victim’s pain, there is a certain absurdity to the thought of M&Ms fucking people.

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