Baseball’s Hottest Wife
“Anna Benson, the former model and stripper who is married to Mets pitcher Kris Benson, vowed yesterday that if she ever catches her husband cheating, she’ll have sex with all his teammates. The buxom brunette, proclaimed ‘Baseball’s Hottest Wife‘ by FHM magazine, said on Howard Stern’s nationally syndicated radio show: ‘I told him [Kris] — because that’s the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I’m going to s—-w everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team.’ ‘Mike Piazza just did a back flip,’ Stern said, egging her on. ‘Even the coaches? What about, like, the bat boys?’ ‘Everybody would get a turn,’ Anna pledged. ‘If my husband cheated on me and embarrassed me like that, I will embarrass him more than he could ever imagine.’ Even Robin Quivers got in on it: ‘What about groundskeepers?’ ‘If I’m lining them up,’ Anna said, ‘I’ll [also] circle into other teams. Whatever team he’s playing, I will s—-w all them too.’” —New York Post (US)
(Thanks to alanr for the link.)
If you’re a baseball fan or a New Yorker, you know that the New York Mets have become one of baseball’s most ridiculous teams. They have developed a reputation for passing up on great players (exhibit one: Alex Rodriguez) and for signing aging, declining players (exhibit two: Mo Vaughn) to stupendous contracts. Naturally it’s a formula for disaster, and three consecutive losing seasons has been the result.
Now the Mets have signed what by all accounts is a generous — perhaps even foolish — contract with pitcher Kris Benson. Are you scratching your head trying to figure out why any team would give a three-year, $22.5 million deal to a pitcher with an unspectacular career 4.28 ERA? Now you know: it’s because he has Baseball’s Hottest Wife. “I helped with negotiations,” Ms. Benson told Howard Stern. “I went back and forth a lot with that. He didn’t even have anything to do with that. I did that deal… I laid out a lot of the terms.” Behind every great man is a great woman, right?
Optimists hope that Kris Benson has his best years as a pitcher ahead of him — but if not, at least the Mets have brought baseball’s equivalent of Mae West to town. If watching the Mets turns out to be no fun, the whole town should have a good time watching Anna Benson, not just for her looks but for her wisecracking candor. You have to love a chick who publicly threatens to punish infidelity by screwing a whole baseball team. Maybe the Mets should even replace the team mascot, Mr. Met, with Ms. Benson. A sex object must make for a better mascot than a laughingstock — and besides, they weren’t having much luck with the old mascot anyway.
Now I know why Pedro signed with the Mets. He wants in on the action.
You get the feeling the entire Mets team is pitching in for some roofies and a night at SCORES for Kris?
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