“A Boulder man who children said put pornographic DVDs in their Halloween sacks last month has been arrested on suspicion of felony obscenity and could face more than a year in prison… According to a police report, the man who opened the door of Johnson’s home said he would look to see if he had anything to give the boys. When the man returned, he reportedly asked the teenagers whether they had DVD players. They answered yes, and the man gave them the DVDs — one labeled ‘C-man,’ while the other pictured a woman performing oral sex, the report indicated. The boys said they heard laughter after the man closed the door. Believing that the DVDs were bad and that they would get in trouble for having them, the two crushed the discs on the ground, the report said. One of the teens reported the incident to his grandmother, who called police. Authorities said Johnson later admitted giving the DVDs to the boys, but said he felt bad afterward and told officers he ‘didn’t know what he was thinking.’” —Newsday (US)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

The man claims that he “didn’t know what he was thinking,” and yet it’s perfectly obvious what he was thinking. You don’t need telepathy to get into the mind that performed that act. It’s simple. It went like this. “Oh shit. Halloween. I don’t have any candy around the house. What can I give those little trick-or-treaters? Lemme see… Potato chips? Pork chops? Lite beer? Nah, I know. I’ll give them these… Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.” Because it may well be inappropriate to give your neighbors’ children hardcore porn, but it’s still funny. That’s all the guy was thinking.

The real enigma behind this story is this: What in tarnation were those two boys thinking? What red-blooded thirteen-year-old boy wouldn’t drop to his knees in gratitude at receiving a porno DVD in his orange trick-or-treat sack? By God, if they reallly “crushed the discs on the ground,” then there’s something plainly wrong with the callow youths. Maybe they should be tested for deficiencies of some sort. Did it never occur to them that, even if they didn’t personally want the DVDs, they could have sold them at school to the boys who did?

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