“Breast implants are becoming more and more popular with a surprising group of Shanghai citizens — men. The Shanghai Daily said Wednesday that most of the male patients seeking implants in China’s financial hub wanted to impress women, or clients, or in some cases their boss. The implants are similar to those used by women, but they are shaped differently and are stiffer. Doctors warn that the surgery has certain risks and people with allergies or heart problems should find another way to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger… [A doctor] said many of the patients had psychological problems. ‘They ascribe the unhappiness in their lives to their weak muscles,’ he was quoted as saying. ‘The surgery, in some instances, serves as psychological therapy.’” —Yahoo (US)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

The headline of this story makes you think that guys are out there getting breasts like Dolly Parton. And in some cases, they are — remember cult rocker Genesis P-Orridge from Psychic TV? Go have a look at his web site and scroll down to that picture of him standing beside at a van at a gas station, looking very much like a suburban hooker. Yup, that’s right. Those are real breast implants.

So some guys are in fact getting ladylike tits sewn into their chests, for whatever reasons. But this article is actually talking about a slightly different phenomenon, namely men who are getting breast implants that make them look like bulked-up weightlifters. It’s hard to see how this could be a good thing, since it means suffering through the dangers of surgery and then all the same post-op complications that can afflict women who get breast implants. Wouldn’t it just be easier to take steroids or, better yet, wear falsies?

Besides which, it’s hard to imagine anybody’s boss being impressed by a guy who needs to take two weeks off from work so that he can go get elective surgery. And wouldn’t the sudden transformation from ninety-pound shrimp to he-man musclebuilder seem suspicious? True, it wouldn’t be as suspicious as if the guy suddenly showed up with female-type tits — but then this raises another interesting question. Suppose you want to impress your employer. Presuming that he is a man, would it be a good idea to get babe-style breast implants? On one hand, every male boss appreciates the sight of a fine rack in the workplace. It spices things up, adds an edge to the water-cooler chat. But on the other hand, if you’re a man and you get tits, will you end up hitting that proverbial glass ceiling? Will you, like a woman, make less wages than the macho men in your department?

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