“Too much swearing can make men impotent and women develop male characteristics including facial hair and extra muscles. According to research by Russian scientist Gennady Cheurin and his team at the Centre for Ecological Safety and Survival in Yekaterinburg, the research was based on the popular belief that water has a type of ‘memory’ that can be influenced by positive and negative forces. Cheurin said that his team had sworn at a glass of water for several hours and then poured it over wheat seeds. Only 48 per cent of those seeds which were watered with the ‘foul’ water sprouted as opposed to 93 per cent of seeds watered with holy water taken from natural springs. Cheuring said: ‘We then looked at heavy swearers and others who never used bad language, and found whenever men use these words in their daily life, this immediately leads to sexual dysfunctions, i.e. impotence. If a woman uses these words in her daily speech, she slowly begins transforming into a man, getting more hair and muscles.’” —OnlyPunjab.com (India)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

> Email from PervScan to alanr:

That is one of the strangest articles. There is a related story here:

http://funreports.com/2004/10/18/56670.html

I know there are people who talk to their plants, but it’s awfully hard to imagine that swearing at a glass of water could have such, uh, depressing effects. Weird.

Thanks again as always for all the hard work!

> Email from alanr to PervScan:

Maybe this is not so far-fetched. You know there could be a rational explanation to this story. Men who swear tend to be angry, have increased stress that can have a negative impact on their reproductive system. It could raise the temperature in their scrotums and cause impotence. With respect to women, anger can lead to a greater production of testosterone and thus these women develop enhanced secondary male sex characteristics. Or maybe these guys have just been drinking too much vodka.

> Email from PervScan to alanr:

I see your point, but I’m still pretty suspicious. I googled the researcher’s name and the only results that come up are for this weird story. (That could be, however, because of the language difference.)

At least the place he works appears legit:

http://www.ecosafe.nw.ru/

Speak any Russian? I can make out a few words but not enough to find the researcher’s name on the website.

The Russian writer of obscene fairytales he mentions is also legit. Check this out:

http://www.virginia.edu/slavic/seefa/ZAVETNYE.HTM

Maybe it shouldn’t strike me so weird that scientists are sitting around a lab in Russia staring at a glass of water. I swear at inanimate objects all the time — computers especially.

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