Vaseline Vandal
“It looks as if the charges will stick in a bizarre case of Vaseline vandalism in a New York town. A Virginia man is accused of covering virtually every surface in a motel room with petroleum jelly… He was arrested after a cleaning crew discovered the television set, furniture, carpeting and everything else in Chamberlain’s motel room had been slathered with petroleum jelly. Police found 14 empty Vaseline containers and numerous pornographic magazines in the room’s trash can. Police said that when they tracked him down at a nearby motel, Chamberlain was covered from head-to-toe with the stuff. Damage to the motel room and its contents was estimated at more than $1,000. A manager at the Motel 6 said it took more than a month to clean up the mess.” —Newsnet5.com (US)
(Thanks to alanr for the link.)
As fetishes go, this one sounds pretty harmless and also pretty fun. You can imagine getting all slicked up in a hotel and then careening around your room, bouncing off the greasy furniture. Probably you need some good music to go along with it — uh, maybe Grace Slick or even the Vaselines (who were a favorite of Nirvana). Then again, if you check out the Vaseline Vandal’s mug shots, he hardly looks like the type to listen to such music. It’s hard to say exactly what a guy with a face like that would listen to. Probably he just put on the pay-per-view porn channel and rubbed himself against the greasy screen.
I get turned on by smearing vaseline in my sneakers and wearing them without socks.
As a confirmed furniture fucker, I can relate to the pleasures implied in this story. However there is an issue of consideration for other motel customers. Perhaps the motel operator should establish “wanking” and “no-wanking” rooms.
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Bukkake