“Milwaukee police arrested four boys, ages 11 to 13, after one of them allegedly sexually assaulted an elderly woman as the other three watched, Sgt. Ken Henning, police spokesman, said Tuesday. Henning said that the boys had been ‘terrorizing’ the 79-year-old woman in her north side home for a week, crawling through a window each day and stealing items. In one incident, an 11-year-old boy raped the woman while the other three, 11, 12 and 13, watched, Henning said… The woman alerted police, who arrested the boys on Sunday, Henning said. The 11-year-old boy, who Henning said admitted to the crime, was arrested on suspicion of first-degree sexual assault while the others were arrested on suspicion of being parties to a crime, he said.” —Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel (US)

(Thanks to charlesss666 for an additional version of the story.)

Here are some boys that weren’t raised right. If you raise your boys right, they’ll know that if a fellow is going to commit a crime for which he may well suffer severe punishment, he should at least make the crime tasty. Raping somebody’s grandmother does not fall into this category. There’s something about septuagenarian breasts that resembles elephant skin, and you shudder to think about what those old orifices might resemble. Regardless, it’s not worth going to prison for.

So if you want to raise your boys right, teach them that serious crimes need the right balance between punishment and pleasure. If you’re going to rape somebody, go for a hot chick, a cheerleader or supermodel, rather than an old sack of granny flesh. The long years of juvenile detention or perhaps even prison might be less onerous if you’ve once tasted a moment’s worth of infinite joy.

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