Police Arrest Cheese-Covered Naked Man
Maryville police say they arrested a 23-year-old man wearing nothing but cheese early Sunday. Michael Monn was carrying snacks stolen from a concession stand at a pool, police said. Police found Monn’s Jeep parked near the pool and then noticed his clothes and a bottle of vodka in the vehicle. Then, they saw the naked man running toward the Jeep. Officials say he had cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders. Police say Monn smelled strongly of alcohol and wasn’t fully coherent. — WESH (US)
(Thanks to alanr for the link.)
When you do something like this with five or eight other guys, it’s a good stunt — a frat-boy kind of prank. Somebody gets the idea that you’ll all break into the swimming pool and go skinny-dipping. Then, after a drink or two, somebody else gets the idea you should smear cheese all over yourselves, or have a cheese war in the pool, or something to that effect. Could be good stupid fun. But when you do this kind of thing alone, it takes on a different kind of meaning, just as drinking alone is different from social drinking. A guy who goes out, gets drunk, gets naked, lubes himself with cheese and jumps in a public pool — well, a guy like this obviously has some issues…
When they haul the guy into court, no doubt he’ll just blame it all on that devil, drink. But was that really it? Was it all the product of random opportunity? Did he just happen to find cheese at the concession stand? Would he have been just as likely to use ketchup or some other gooey substance if there were no cheese to be had? Or was there some kind of intent to the whole weird display? Did the guy really want to make a public display of himself? Did he practice at home with a few jars of Cheez Whiz before moving on to whatever cheese was in the concession stand? Does he have some kind of cheese fetish? Does he masturbate with mozzarella? Wank with whey? Get off with gouda? Fondle himself with fondue? Abuse himself with blue cheese?
i find cheese extremely sexy. I enjoy having all sorts of fun with cheese. ahh cheese
Maybe during the winter he has a build up of nob cheese to keep his dick warn…and eats the cheese igloo in the summer…
maybe, the evil cheese-man forced him to do it ? Or maybe it was the alfredo sauce polar bears ??? HMM>>>>>>
my friends and i like to slam each other with cheese slices and mashed cheese…we love it!
cheese????
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