“When a Kansas woman lost her pet parrot last month, she thought she’d never see it again. That was until someone called her home, offering to return the bird in exchange for sex… ‘Losing Reggie is the most devastating thing to happen to me in my life because we love him so much,’ the bird’s owner said… This week, a man called the bird owner’s home three times, and then she called police. ‘Initially (the caller) offered her to bring the bird back for cash. And when she gave him a figure, he said that wasn’t enough,’ police Sgt. Dan Tennis said. ‘(He) called back again, she raised the price of the reward. Again, that wasn’t enough, and he asked for sex…’ The woman said the bird, which cost her about $1,000 last year, is an important member of her family.” &$151; Newsnet5.com (US)

(Thanks to alanr for the link.)

Unfortunately this article gives no indication of whether the bird owner is a hottie. It doesn’t even say how old she is. What if she’s an old shrew? The man holding the bird hostage might be offering to exchange it for sex, only to find out he’d rather keep the bird.

Anyway, you get the impression it might be more of a joke than a serious demand for ransom. People simply invest way too much emotion in their pets. The caller probably recognizes this and finds it funny to fuck with the bird owner — to make demands that he knows are absurd. In other words, he probably does not realistically expect he’ll get sex in exchange for the bird — who would make love with a nasty stranger for the sake of a parrot? — but he probably does get sadistic enjoyment out of toying with the lady’s emotions. Next he’ll call her and tell her he strangled the thing — which no doubt he’ll probably do, for fear that if he returns the parrot it might talk.

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