“There’s a new kid on the torture block. Her name is Sabrina Harman, and ladies and gentleman, she’s a real hottie… This has been the problem with Lynndie England. She’s good and evil, and doesn’t mind flashing us a good old-fashioned smile while forcing prisoners to masturbate. It’s just that, well, she’s no oil painting. She’s got a Demi Moore haircut, but looks more like Bruce Willis. Suddenly, we’ve got a babe on our hands. Sabrina lights up the lens with her glorious smile and come-to-bed eyes. You could imagine her in a strapless dress accompanying Billy Bob Thornton to a film premiere, or co-presenting the Eurovision Song Contest. And also, she trumps Lynndie by doing her thumbs-up (like Charles Graner) over an actual corpse. Pulling a man around on a leash is small-fray. Sabrina wants to see him dead.” — London News Review (UK)

Finally somebody dares to tell the truth. The abuse when Lynndie England strips your clothes off consists not in the fact that you’re naked, but that she’s kind of ugly. If she were a hottie, like her pal Sabrina Harman, it would be pretty sexy to get some good old-fashioned S&M psychodrama with her. Hell, a lot of civilians would pay for it.

So let’s make Sabrina Harman the Abuser Hottie of the Month. She certainly has the looks, what with that winning smile that is not the least bit dimmed by either civilian attire or enemy dead. She also has impeccable credentials of sadistic abuse: she can be seen in that photograph of naked detainees in a pyramid, and she is also the one who posed the notorious photo showing the Iraqi with wires dangling from his penis.

Ms. Harman’s flippant explanations of that particular photo demonstrate that she has a cynical flair for sardonic understatement. When asked why she posed the guy in faux-torture position, she explained: “I was joking with him and told him if he fell off he would get electrocuted.” Just joking! Another time she was asked why she persecuted this prisoner, whom she dubbed “Gilligan,” and she replied: “Just playing with him.”

Just playing with him — evidently Ms. Harman could be a hottie in the Mae West tradition, good for a wisecrack that’s irreproachable because it comes from the mouth of a beauty. If this sort of cynicism disturbs you, however, it would do well to remember that Ms. Harman has had it inculcated in her from childhood. “She’s been looking at autopsies and crime-scene pictures since she was a kid,” her mother told the Washington Post. Some families play Monopoly or Jeopardy, but apparently Ms. Harman’s family indulged in a more lugubrious game: her father is a homicide detective who used to bring home crime scene photographs for Ms. Harman to “profile.”

So here’s to Sabrina Harman, who must recognize that beauty and a bit of attitude can bring titillation to even the dreariest camp of war criminals. If she tires of her current assignment sweeping streets and planting flowers, she can no doubt jumpstart a post-war career in fashion or movies by exploiting her new-found notoriety. After all, who wouldn’t pay big bucks to see her in a naked mud-wrestling match with Jessica Lynch?

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